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Dec 30, 2007

Resolutions












Who thought of this dumb shit anyway, is what I would like to know? New Year's resolutions, I mean. Talk about setting yourself up for a fall, this is the way to do it.

I don't make resolutions anymore. I have changed my behavior enough. I am old enough and mean enough to like myself pretty much as I am.

I try to treat everyone with respect. I smoke and that's my choice for now. When I get tired of smelling like an ash tray, I'll quit. But I have to want to quit first and I don't.

I have already resolved to get to a healthier weight. I have, oh gosh I'm scared to even commit this to paper, but what the hell. I have lost 23 lbs. since last year. Hoorah! Hooray! Yip yip yip yip yeehaw!!! I feel a little happy about that, as you can see. When they tell you its harder to lose weight as you get older, they are not lying. Its a sad and hateful fact.

I have no desire to rise to the top of the corporate ladder. I wish I did, but I'm not a material person. Poverty and I have become more than nodding acquaintances. We seem to get on pretty good at times.

I already feel like this country has become less of a melting pot and more of a shit hole. But that's not a resolution. We all should make our country, and its restoration to former glory, a top priority. And we all should be involved in the upcoming elections, probably the most important ones since FDR. My opinion, anyway.

So, everything that could become a resolution is something I am already doing.

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Last night a young lady sat in my living room, and said, "When my boys grow up, I'm gonna have my own house, and they can bring their wives home, and my grand babies, and I'll watch them while they go out. It will always be their home."

I said the same thing when I was one and thirty. I tried to say that these are the days you want to live. Don't live for the future, because who knows what will happen. Live each day to the fullest, and treasure it, always. But, being the oldest, my words fell on deaf ears. They have not learned that the oldest are the ones who have already experienced everything you ever will. Not necessarily me, for I fear the future a little now. I know how freaking unfair it is.



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An eight year old boy told us how cats mate last night. "They make out for a while, then they stick their tongues in the other mouths....." While I am always interested in learning new things, this one stumped me. The mom, instead of correcting him, after we all had a good chuckle, threatened to whip him.

Now here's where I went the opposite way as a young mom. I would immediately correct false information, and give them the facts, whether they believed me or not. I also had a high tolerance for curse words. But the boys only cursed around other boys and me....go figure.

I asked this young man, while his mother cringed, what a testicle was, and his response was an arm. What the hell is up with this? This country needs another sixties revolution, cause we've all become uptight about sex, again. An eight year old should know what a testicle is. Its part of his own body, for Christ's sake. And there is nothing wrong with the human body, or its functions.

Of course my young ones learned all about the circle of life from watching my female dog make a slut of herself with every Tom, Dick, and Hairy Hound that wandered into our yard. "Mama, Mary's stuck to that..." I know, I know....leave them alone, they'll be ok....God, my head hurts....Ok, so I exaggerated up there a tad. I didn't immediately correct them. But they knew the facts of life at 10 years old, and if they came up with something bizarre, "First the female dog lays eggs in a hole in the ground, then the male dog pees on them..." I felt the need to give them the real story. Usually. Seventy-five percent of the time.

I also learned that young boys may not know the meaning of the curse words they are saying. One night while my two young ones were "shitting" all over the place, I suddenly asked them, "Ok, what does shit mean? I bet you don't even know." "Yeah, we do. It means....what does it mean?" Poop. It means poop. "No, it doesn't!! Mama, that's gross, you're making that up!!!" It took my ex-husbands agreement, that "yes, Mama is right, that's exactly what it means" for me to be believed.

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I guess that brings me to the real gist of this post. I learned recently that my ex is very ill. Very ill. It's hard to believe, and hard to take. For whatever reason we didn't get along, that takes nothing away from the fine man he can be and is. I want him to be ok. Just that one call, and nothing else, he remains, as always, unreachable. I hurt more for my son. Its not so much a resolution as a prayer that he should be well and whole, and healthy again.

Or at least go to the doctor and get what needs to be done, done. Please, people, giving up is not an option, as I have learned this year.

22 comments:

Woozie said...

When I was around 8, I was rubbing my temples and I said "I'm massaging my testicles." Many laughs ensued.

Babzy said...

I don't want you climing up any ladders, corporate or otherwise. Remember when you fell off the porch? It may not be that funny next time. Well maybe you didn't think it was so funny but WE SURE DID! heee haw

I understand how a person can still care for an ex. Might not want to live together or even talk to each other but we married them for a reason and that's what keeps us connected forever.

just me said...

Woozie, I laughed when I read that, then I started thinking about what some people might call you now...but not me...

just me said...

yes, Babzy, me and ladders don't get on well, or porches for that matter...

Spadoman said...

Lucky cat

Happy New Year, and every year, and every day in the year, to you, and all you hold dear, and the universe, in the circle.

Peace to all.

eric1313 said...

Ahhh... the mysteries of life laid bare! And there I almost thought the stork still handled all the messy business!

Thank you for explaining things on this fine New Year's Eve. My poetry will take on all new life!

Peace out, my friend. Take it easy this holiday.

Stephen Rader said...

Happy New Year! You're so right about living today and not for some time in the future. Anytime you want to advise me, I will listen with open ears.

Much love, joy and peace for you in '08.

alphonsedamoose said...

Deb, Great post on the facts of life(sex). Congratulations on the 23 lbs. Weight is hard to lose as you get older. I wish you a Happy New Year. You deserve it.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

The Mom who threatens to whip a child for not understanding a subject, is more ignorant than the child by far!

Congratulations on that weight loss! When you get older, it clings like glue it seems. Happy New Year to you, and may you find it filled with blessings!

Babzy said...

Happy New Year, Deb.

SJ said...

Have a gr8 08...


You are wonderful and now I have written proof :)

just me said...

You guys are the best. Blessings to you all, and many joys in the coming years.

just me said...

Future, you nailed it. She is as ignorant about some things as her children, but, what the heck, I like her anyway.

I have watched this same child have a two hour tantrum, screaming, crying, slamming things, and she did her best to ignore him. I myself, would have went crazy. But, yeah, ignorance should not be met with violence. Seems that's where wars come from.....

just me said...

Future, you are a very passionate man...methinks Mrs. Future may be a lucky woman..... :)

Babzy said...

Down girl.

just me said...

Babzy, I can control myself..but thanks for the warning...

singleton said...

Girl, you've got me laughing and crying at the same time! When Jonah was about three and half, he spent the summer at Vacay Bible School with his Aunt Kimbies....a little religion good for their soul! Anyhew, a few months later, out of the blue, naked as a jay bird standing in the hall, he reaches down and fondles himself and says "Mama, what are these little balls?" I took a deep breath and pulled a you....."Well, son, those are your testicles....."
He beamed and ran naked down the hall....
"Yup,an old one and a new one" he chimed.....

Happy New Year Girl!

Queenie said...

I hate to say this but sometimes I really enjoy saying a swear word, its sort of like having a drag on a ciggie, makes me feel so much better. Even when I use to get a slap across my head from my mum for saying them, I'd still whisper them. Its great now I'm all grown up I can curse all day long. Great post.

just me said...

Thanks Queenie. I totally relate. Unfortunately I also swear like a drunken sailor at times, not to say that all drunken sailors swear, just the ones I have known....

eric1313 said...

My sister swears like a drunken sailor that you probably know!

Happy new year, a bunch of days late!

just me said...

Singleton, that has to be the funniest story I've heard in a long time. Out of the mouth of babes, huh? When my two were small, I took them to a holiness church, where I taught sunday school for a while. What with their parents jumping around and raising cain inside the church, they thought they could do the same in Sunday school. Never again...

Catmoves said...

"Unfortunately I also swear like a drunken sailor at times, not to say that all drunken sailors swear, just the ones I have known...."
Well, damn, now I suppose I have to admit to being one of those. At least at one time in my life.
I also learned long ago that N Y resolutions were a waste of time (I usually forget them by January 2. The 3rd at latest.) Pointless and inane and an incursion into my time and well being.
Congrats on losing the weight, but I don't think your will power came from any resolution. It came from within you, not some words.
Slapping a child for sharing his knowledge with an adult is not a way to teach anything.