Nov 16, 2009

Blog Neglect

I have sorely neglected this blog, this little blog that has served me well in the past for expressing my views, good or bad, and expressing the thoughts that cloud my mind.  My life lately has been one of turmoil.  I have went through many changes with my bipolar-meds, which you can probably deduce from the things I have written.  I think things are back on track again.

Roger and I are no longer knocking boots.  I feel it is wrong.  Don't ask me why, it just is.  It's one of those gut feelings.

My son is desperately trying to get his life back together.  God willing he will. 

I know that Hunter, Travis' son has a birthday toward the end of November.  I want to say it is the 26, but, I am not completely positive.  It is one of the birthdays that I have trouble remembering the date.  I don't know why.  It is such an important date.  My oldest sister's was the same way.  It was sometime in March, but for some reason, I always had trouble remembering which day.  I wish I could send this boy everything he wants, but I can't.  I am such a fuckup.

I have been going through that, looking at my life and at all the times I have fucked up...but I can't change it, can I?  Just try to do better, but I'm still getting a lot of negative feedback from just about everyone.  I spend too much time in my room, which is my sanctuary, my space, my sacred place if you will. 
*CAMPBELL: This is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be, This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

I'm waiting.

* [Excerpts from the Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell]