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Dec 8, 2007

Grand excitement in the old neighborhood this evening. With sirens blaring, and bells and whistles, Santa Claus came for a visit, on a fire truck of course. I guess Santa, going down all those chimneys and such, must have met with a few mishaps. Every time he travels anywhere its always on a fire truck, at least around these parts.














What was unusual was what happened afterwards. The local fire chief drove down our street going over the fifteen mile per hour speed limit. He was in a hurry, I suppose, since he stopped and picked up a lovely young woman. What man wouldn't hurry? However, this time he was spotted by a neighbor, somewhat inebriated, but very offended by such a learned individual not obeying the rules of traffic.

As the fire chief pulled into his driveway, he was suddenly accosted by the offended neighbor. The neighbor had jumped on his bicycle immediately, to confront the wayward chief. The neighbor has no driver's license, which is probably good, as he was a little tipsy and all.

The conversation that followed made little sense to anyone listening, but basically involved the fire chief trying his best to escape, and the neighbor trying his best to keep him from doing so. One must appreciate the fact that the neighbor weighs 90 lbs. soaking wet, and stands about 5'5", while the fire chief weighs about 230, and stands close to 6'6". He must have felt he was being tormented by an angry hobbit. But, ultimately he confessed to his crime, and promised to never do it again.

One wonders if he was sincere, or just trying to shut up a drunken hobbit. Who knows? It sure was fun to watch. The hob....the neighbor later took issue with Santa, for reasons unknown. I did learn that Santa can and will engage in a bout of fisticuffs if necessary. But the words, "you think you can whip my ass, bring it on m***** f*****" does not inspire that warm fuzzy feeling we get when we usually think of ole Saint Nick.

Oh, hell, he was probably just having a bad day. Its the Christmas season after all. He's entitled.

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So there I was, stringing lights around my porch, and I forgot about the step that leads up to the front door. Walking along, stepping side ways, I guess I just disappeared to anyone watching. I fell all over the place, didn't get hurt, but the first thing I did was look up and see if anyone saw me. Now why is that?









My cat Roscoe has found a nice place to rest through the season. And it isn't even over yet.

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16 comments:

The Future Was Yesterday said...

Santa arrived here (Drumroll) A week before T day....riding in a convertable plastered with "Shop at Walmart!" signs.

Give it back to the kids; anybody over 14 is forbidden to enter a store until December 23rd!

Babzy said...

LOL HAHAHA I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself. HAAAAAA AHAHAHA

just me said...

Yeah, hoooHoooheeeheee, *&%$#!!!!
It was funny, though, my son laughed his ass off...maybe I'll do it again someday.

just me said...

a convertible sounds better than a fire truck....yeah, I'm about sick of the holidays...

alphonsedamoose said...

Santa shoud never swear. What if little kids hear him.
As for the porch offering, I'm sorry but I am still laughing.

just me said...

Moose, I guess you and Babzy would bust a gut if a broke my neck, huh? Maybe they would give me my own sitcom...

Queenie said...

Told you to take more water with it!!!

just me said...

Queenie, I was not inebriated, or even drunk. Besides my chasers are lime and salt. Me and Jose go back a long way....

Headed to your blog.

(I really don't drink anymore, but I used to could toss em back with the best.)

Babzy said...

Even funnier that you were stone cold sober. At least you'd have an excuse if you had been plastered. LOL

just me said...

Oh, hardee hardee har har.......

alphonsedamoose said...

WE could call the sitcom: "I Love Deb". You would have to have red hair though.
Babzy and I are so mean.

Woozie said...

Ron Paul! I just noticed it! Awesome!

BBC said...

Well, I don't do Christmas trees and such anymore, haven't for years. And I'm damn sure not going shopping for people that already have more than they need.

And as far as I can tell, my cats could care less if I'm into any of that. All I need to do to amuse them is to drop a paper sack on the floor for them to explore.

just me said...

Yes, Moose, and you and Babzy could play my zany but lovable sidekicks, Ed and Bethel. HA Of course, Vincent would be Mickey....lololol...

just me said...

Woozie, Ron Paul is the only one out there who makes even the slightest bit of sense. I like the guy and his ideas. Vote Ron Paul, ya hear?


bbc, all a cat needs for hours of entertainment is a paper bag or box. Cat heaven.

Catmoves said...

Just what we need. A brawling, swearing Santa. Oh, well, we've got a bawling, can't get a sentence correct President. Things equal out, I guess.
Loved "I just disappeared to anyone watching." Hahahahaha.