Dec 5, 2007

recent happenings

Life was starting to go smoothly, for me, again. Other than being high as a Geogia pine on my new meds, I was feeling good about things. Then Butt girl and the Demon child came for a visit. Which was fine. I had started calling Butt girl J, even when she wasn't around. The demon child and I had reached an impasse. As long as he didn't pass my house I was OK. But, then I did the one thing a true Internet junky never every does.

I let them use my computer.

I cannot say that the events I am about to unfold lie solely at their feet. But it does make one think.

The Demon child wanted to play some weird game online. Fine. Keep him out of my hair, and the cats could put down their guard somewhat. (They, of course, have discovered the box full of bones kept somewhere close to said Demon child.) And, of course, they run from kids as a general rule. As do I.

While he punched away on my keyboard, his mother, the infamous know-it-all, (I've been a truck-driver, waitress, nurse, psychologist, president) decided to come and help him. I joined the rest of the 'crew' in the living room, having just suffered a small stroke somewhere in the thinking part of the brain.

No drama, no problems, nice evening, and when everyone went home, I got on my computer and decided to browse....actually I launched my yahoo messenger, looking for love in all the wrong places. My first inkling of disaster came when I tried to type. I typed "Hey, handsome....." and it looked like this--h48/ey han943?!!!so8m8...." OK, my fingers could have been in the wrong position. I tried again, and still kept getting h68me6y instead of hey....I then proceeded to do everything known to man to resolve this slight hitch. I figured the driver was messed up, rolled that sucker back, and nada...tried to look for software updates for my keyboard...what a disaster! You have to type to do that.

We are talking about my beloved Natural Keyboard. I hate the little skinny things that come with your computer. For me, the more ostentatious it looks and sounds, the better. Big Dolly Parton fan here.

I decided to do a system restore, which did nothing but made me download software I had already downloaded. If I could have had a computer whiz from India for a few hours or days, hint, hint, I would have been OK. But, alas, the only thing I have around here is Roger who claims to be a quarter Cherokee. We all claim to be a quarter Cherokee!!!

Rummaging through an old box, looking for a ball-peen hammer, I discovered this old keyboard. And voila`, it worked. Now, if I scrunch my fingers up real tight, I can type, and make a hundred mistakes. You must remember, that being a hillbilly, this whole process took a few days. Looking for that hammer took up most of it.

Do I know for certain that Butt girl and Demon Child had anything to do with my mishap? No, darn it. It was probably just me.

A few nights ago, said Butt girl called me at 3 am, complaining of chest pains. Yes, I run an ER out of my kitchen. I rushed down there, cigarettes in hand, just in case she was out, and ended up calling the ambulance (pronounced ammbyoooolance) and sat with Demon child till it was time to get on the bus. No easy feat, being alone in the house with mini-Dexter. But I survived, and found my original diagnosis was correct when I picked her up at the ER the next day. Gas. Lots and lots of gas. Glad she went, now.

So, I'm feeling kinda good about my acts of kindness. A friend in need is a friend indeed, and all that bullshit. Then, I checked my voice mail. A message from Butt girl. "I just woke up and I can't find my cigarettes, you don't know anything about that do you??

I can fling a mean phone.


dawn said...

you know the visa commercials
ride to hospital $20
cigarettes $7
new keyboard $30
Reading Just Me's blog - priceless
Love ya

alphonsedamoose said...

Deb: Tell butt girl that demon child took the cigarettes to school with him.

Woozie said...

Wow, I have no idea what could have happened to your Dolly Parton keyboard. Are you going to try and get it fixed or stick with the small crappy typo one?

just me said...

Woozie, I think it would cost just as much to fix one as it would to replace it. I figure its some little doodad thing.

Dawn, you are a cutie doll.

Moose, you know you are probably right.
I have to get over to your blog and see what's up with Owen.....

Spadoman said...

I might have to get me one of those Dolly Parton keyboards. The have the raised nipples on the keys, right?

You are an old softy. The more you talk about Butt girl and the demon child, I realize how much you love them and love people in general. Your insight as to their social skills, and problems caused by lack of said skills, is also evident.

friends like you are hard to find. I see right through the dumb hillbilly and right on to the compassionate neighbor.

Now, let's talk about the drugs you're on :-)

Peace to All.

just me said...

Drugs? You wouldn't even believe the stuff floating around in my bloodstream.

Actually, I am a dumb hillbilly. However did you guess?

Speaking of nipples, it has become quite nipply here. It's 31 degrees outside. HA!

Queenie said...

You make me laugh, your no hillbilly and no way dumb.
Glad Butt girl is ok (honest), BTW I'm not quarter Cherokee!!!

just me said...

Queenie, somehow i knew you were not Cherokee.....maybe Choctaw?

BBC said...

That picture at the top of the page looks a lot like where I live. Did your goofy have big ears? LOL
Nobody, but nobody else uses my computer.
I’m a quarter Cherokee.
I’m a quarter hillbilly.
I’m a quarter idiot. :-)
Cute post. Have a great day, hugs.

Casdok said...

Great post!!

Anonymous said...

I like my dinky little keyboard. It's the only one that will fit on my dinky little desk.

Maybe there's a stuck key on your favourite keyboard causing trouble.

Are you really a hillbilly?

just me said...

Yeah, you've probably got those tiny little fingers, too. Am I a hillbilly? Did I grow up watching Hee-Haw? Yep. Does a bar shit in the woods? Yep.

Anonymous said...

Oh Good Lord. I have MAN HANDS. They're HUGE.

just me said...

I knew there was something about you..I wear a man-bra. HA!

Anonymous said...

A MAN BRA??!! Where'd you get the MAN BRA? At Lloyd's Auto Parts? Isn't that what they put on the front of pick-up trucks to keep the bugs out of the engine? You don't shop at Victoria Secret, do you.

Anonymous said...

Oh you little rascal. I just remembered that George's dad invented the Man Bra.


Spadoman said...

Man Bra, it's called a "Bro". That's what they called it on Seinfeld.:-)