Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son afteryears of hoping. The boy immediately became the apple of his father's eye.
Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan said to him, "Son, I love you very much. Your birthday is coming soon. What would you like?"
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane."
His father bought him American Airlines.
Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my pride and joy. Ask what you want for your birthday. Whatever it is, it's yours."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat."
His father bought him the Princess Cruise Line.
Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life! . Anything you want, I shall get foryou.."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons."
His father bought him Disney Studios.
Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my life. Your birthday is coming soon. Ask what you wish, I will get it for you."
His son, who had grown to love Disney, replied, "Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit and a Goofy outfit."
His father bought him the Republican Party and Fox news.
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Get the accent right
An American is walking down the street in London on a windy day.
A woman is walking down the street toward him when suddenly the wind blows her dress up, revealing her crotch. Astonishingly, she is not wearing panties.
The American, trying to sound as English as possible, says to her, "A bit 'airy, isn't it?"
The woman scowls and replies angrily, "What did you expect, feathers?"
After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would y'all give me a piece of ass?"
She looked him over, smiled and said, "Sure, why not? It's pretty slow here right now, so let's go!"
When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else?"
"Yes," replied the tourist.
"Where ah come from in Arkansas, we lack our bourbon 'n watuh cold, so ah still need a piece uh ass for mah drink."