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Jul 25, 2007

I have returned, please, please, no applause, it will go to my head you know, and I will be most difficult to live with for some time. The cats will ignore me. Except at 7 in the morning when it is time to eat and go outside. A neighbor cat, an un-neutered male, waits for them sometimes, bides his time, until they emerge and then pounces on poor Sasha, trying his best to whip her hindquarters. (I say hindquarters instead of ass as I am trying to refrain from using too many cuss words, but what the hell, this cat is trying to give her the ass whooping of all time!)

Somehow, Roscoe avoids these confrontations. He's an older cat, and he always gives the air a good sniff before he steps out the door. And, I guess he runs pretty fast. I opened the door the other morning to let them out, cautioning Sasha, "You know that damned cat is out there just waiting for you, don't you?" I turned my head, and there he was. Laying just across the split rail fence (which I have sorely mutilated a time or two with the riding lawn mower) just sitting there, his little tail twitching. It just struck me as funny somehow, and I laughed. I laughed like a crazy person, telling Sasha, "See, I told you! There he is right there! Waitin' on your sorry ass!" I laughed so hard, the cat ran off, and crawled under his owner's shed.

If only all problems could be laughed away. And maybe they can, who knows? I have found that some things can be so aggravating that laughing at them is the only way to get through them.

I told my good friend, , that I had lost my high speed connection and was now using dial-up. Remember dial-up? That's where you hook your computer up to your phone line and connect to the Internet that way. No, you can't talk on the phone at the same time. That's called DSL. I had that one time too, and I really liked that. This works OK, but it is much slooowwweeerrr. But, then I am too these days, so maybe it will be a good fit.

I have gotten to know the Butt girl a little better, and we are actually talking and perhaps becoming friends. I still have issues with certain things, but she has had a hard life, and yada , yada, yada, and I know, I talk shit, but am basically full of it. I'm supposed to go to church with her tomorrow night. It sounds crazy, I know. But what in life doesn't?

I put my mobile home up for sale, yes, I live in a trailer, didn't know I was trailer park trash did you? Well, now you do. I have had the big house, the big mortgage, the whole big shebang, and don't want it, or need it, but anyhoo, a few people have stopped to ask about the mobile home, and my son has told them its a mistake. He's decided he wants to stay here, and it will be almost impossible for me to go if he doesn't. Hard to explain. Won't even try.

Anyway, I appreciate the comments that were left about Travis' video. There are gaps in it. Some pictures I would have liked to have included, I couldn't, because I was asked not to. And I respect that. I must.

I feel in a way I cannot describe that somehow I have let him move on. That a part of me has finally acknowledged that he has work to do elsewhere, and my grief comes secondary to that. I doubt that makes any sense to anyone but me, but I know he must move on. But his spirit is always here, his memory is always here, and his laughter, his laughter alone could fill a room.

17 comments:

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Welcome back! (Where have you been?) Why are you selling up? It's so funny what you said about your son refusing to leave. I had a conversation in the kitchen with my eldest this morning. I've groomed them from an early age to know that as part of their eighteenth birthday present they get the honour of being kicked out of home.. now he's turning sixteen, he's exploring if there is any scope for negotiation on that.. gotta love 'em, eh?

Unknown said...

*Applause* :)

Male cats have it easy *sigh*.

Hope the bad stuff is the kind you can laugh away.

Unknown said...

Carol, that was the understanding in my mom and dad's house. You turn the magical age of 18, your ass is gone. They tried to keep me for some reason, but I escaped. Of course when I left home, gas was 29 cents a gallon.

Unknown said...

SJ, Male cats have got it made in the shade, man. All they do is eat, sleep, and do the nasty with every female they can find. I think that's why they hate neutered female cats so much. The ultimate tease. Rosoe is neutered, but I think one of his testicles grew back, so he is much like poor johnny hall, who only had one ball....

Anonymous said...

FINALLY you're back. Why do they call 'mobile home individuals' trailer trash? I know they do, but why?

I'm happy about you and Ms Butt going to church. Funny about people. Everyone has a back-story.

If you sell your mobile where are you planning on living? All these questions. And I get it that you've kept a home for EJ. It IS hard to explain.

I also suspect that you've kept your home for Travis, too. But you can take his spirit with you to your new place.

I'm talking too much because I'm just happy that you paid your internet bill. HAHAHAHA

Me said...

I am so happy you've come to this point in your life. You deserve to believe he is being put to better use elsewhere.

Peace and love, always.

singleton said...

So change is in the air, friend, Where are you going? It's the brave that pack up and move on, and I know you're that.....

Whatever will happen to the poor ole Tom Cat when Sasha skips town on him?
p~l

Mary said...

That's big. I can't imagine.

Unknown said...

I can't either, Mary. I really just want to get in my little car and go. Stop when the mood strikes me, or not. I always wanted to hike the Appalachian trail. But, then, my first priority is my boy.

Unknown said...

Singleton, I wouldn't call myself so much brave as stubborn. I'm just to damn old and ornery now. I think it comes with age. My son tells everyone who comes here and remarks on his sweet mother that they just haven't seen his sweet mother get mad yet. LOLOL....

dawn said...

Deb,
you know that understanding I lived by it but my kids no. It's okay though because I am very close with my oldest and would miss him. Someday they will all move out hopefully before I have to retire. You are a crazy cat lady like I am a dog lady. Aren't they wonderful. Have a great weekend Deb and don't do anything in church that I wouldn't do

alphonsedamoose said...

Welcome back. Missed you. I am so happy you are getting some peace about Travis now. two of my kids have moved back home. Rents are ridiculous here in Alberta and House prices are sky high. Average price of home in Canada is now 300,000.

Anonymous said...

Maybe a change will do you some good. I know I feel like a new person since my move. If you could go anywhere in America, where would it be? Go for it, girl!

Woozie said...

Ugh, dial up. Every time someone connects with dialup, a cat gets preggers.

Unknown said...

Woozie, does that have something to do with the theory of probability, like if a pig blinks his eyes in Idaho, a Bishops hat will fall off in the Vatican?

Mary said...

Hey I always want to both get in my car and go AND hike the Appalachain. Anyway I am always telling myself (to the extent that I can with 2 still living home and in school) "If not now then when the hell are you going to do it?" But I'm one to talk. I won't go anywhere I can't take that damn cell phone. It's glued to my hand. If it weren't for Michael I could throw it in the trash. I hate all phones. Anyway...I'll meet you out on the Applachain some day. What a journey that will be.

Catmoves said...

Dial up? Whazzat? I've heard of ring up and phone up and call up. But Dial up? Huh. Ain't progress wonderful?
Once took in a stray cat and had him "fixed". Apparently he had lived on the streets for a while and one day a neighboring tom decided to bully him. That tom used up a couple of his lives. Seems my adopted cat had also learned to street fight they way that cats do when their lives depend on it. Bully cat took wide births around him after the first lesson.