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Jul 3, 2007

*From my friend, the RN, of the elevator incident.

Warning About Bacon Grease

The question is: Do you use bacon grease?

We were raised on bacon grease as kids and even into adulthood. I will never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you

fry bacon from now on. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.

COOKING WITH BACON GREASE:


I just threw out my last 2 tablespoons of bacon grease!!

This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease.
This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about. It could happen to you......or them. Keep scrolling down?.
















Bacon grease will make your feet small!! Warn everyone!!
Don't say you weren't warned......

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------GAMES PARTY GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Memory, what is it?
2. Hide and...go do something.
3. Catch Mr. Federline before he sets off the alarm.
4. Kick the Bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. Your husband schedules you for an exorcism, for no reason whatsoever!

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze, or cough, or you stand up, or sit down....

4. Don't even ask about your underwear if you try to run...


OLD IS WHEN:


1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3.Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

6.You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.


THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK:


Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?


Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.


If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!


Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

*Now, you know. When you are in the hospital, and your hitting that call button for all its worth, and no one is responding, this is what they are probably doing at the nurses station. But, you didn't hear it from me.

6 comments:

skinnylittleblonde said...

LOL what a great, entertaining post! I especially look forward to going bra-less & having wrinkles pulled off my face!

just me said...

I just hate the thought of my tits banging around on my knees for some reason...oooh, how gross...

just me said...

I heard the same thing happens to men's nuts...talk about your tighty whities...gives them a whole knew meaning..

Babzy said...

Hilarious post. And oh so true. I wondered why my feet were getting so small.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Oh, Lord, I dont' look forward to that part of aging with spouse, but I'm sure he has his share of concerns. Fuck him--divorce me and get a bimbo.

eric313 said...

You are hilarious, even in lists. It's always nice to have some really good reading around here, the one night stand line was great.

I have too much to worry about to not laugh once in a while. I have some other funny and deeply emotional and spirtual and just plain good writng friends all over the place on my sidebar. I'll add you to it as well. Many of them you've known much longer than me! Talk to you later.