Ramblings from the outside of nowhere

I have returned, please, please, no applause, it will go to my head you know, and I will be most difficult to live with for some time. The cats will ignore me. Except at 7 in the morning when it is time to eat and go outside. A neighbor cat, an un-neutered male, waits for them sometimes, bides his time, until they emerge and then pounces on poor Sasha, trying his best to whip her hindquarters. (I say hindquarters instead of ass as I am trying to refrain from using too many cuss words, but what the hell, this cat is trying to give her the ass whooping of all time!)

Somehow, Roscoe avoids these confrontations. He's an older cat, and he always gives the air a good sniff before he steps out the door. And, I guess he runs pretty fast. I opened the door the other morning to let them out, cautioning Sasha, "You know that damned cat is out there just waiting for you, don't you?" I turned my head, and there he was. Laying just across the split rail fence (which I have sorely mutilated a time or two with the riding lawn mower) just sitting there, his little tail twitching. It just struck me as funny somehow, and I laughed. I laughed like a crazy person, telling Sasha, "See, I told you! There he is right there! Waitin' on your sorry ass!" I laughed so hard, the cat ran off, and crawled under his owner's shed.

If only all problems could be laughed away. And maybe they can, who knows? I have found that some things can be so aggravating that laughing at them is the only way to get through them.

I told my good friend, , that I had lost my high speed connection and was now using dial-up. Remember dial-up? That's where you hook your computer up to your phone line and connect to the Internet that way. No, you can't talk on the phone at the same time. That's called DSL. I had that one time too, and I really liked that. This works OK, but it is much slooowwweeerrr. But, then I am too these days, so maybe it will be a good fit.

I have gotten to know the Butt girl a little better, and we are actually talking and perhaps becoming friends. I still have issues with certain things, but she has had a hard life, and yada , yada, yada, and I know, I talk shit, but am basically full of it. I'm supposed to go to church with her tomorrow night. It sounds crazy, I know. But what in life doesn't?

I put my mobile home up for sale, yes, I live in a trailer, didn't know I was trailer park trash did you? Well, now you do. I have had the big house, the big mortgage, the whole big shebang, and don't want it, or need it, but anyhoo, a few people have stopped to ask about the mobile home, and my son has told them its a mistake. He's decided he wants to stay here, and it will be almost impossible for me to go if he doesn't. Hard to explain. Won't even try.

Anyway, I appreciate the comments that were left about Travis' video. There are gaps in it. Some pictures I would have liked to have included, I couldn't, because I was asked not to. And I respect that. I must.

I feel in a way I cannot describe that somehow I have let him move on. That a part of me has finally acknowledged that he has work to do elsewhere, and my grief comes secondary to that. I doubt that makes any sense to anyone but me, but I know he must move on. But his spirit is always here, his memory is always here, and his laughter, his laughter alone could fill a room.