Ramblings from the outside of nowhere

Been visiting blogs I shouldn't visit again. Sometimes, you don't know you shouldn't until you get there, and start reading. This particular post compared the casualties of the war in Iraq with the causalties of the civil war, World War II, and the Viet Nam conflict. Evidently, the casualties of the war in Iraq are pretty negligible compared to the other wars. I can see the point. As a matter of fact, I looked it up one time. Civilian and military casualties.

Evidently, for supporters of the war, this is a good sign, meaning that because the casualties are not so bad, per se, why, there's no reason to not stay and put up the good fight and see this thing through to the end.

Of course the lack of casualties is because of increased technology, and supposedly better protective gear for the ground forces.

It recounts the battle of Iwo Jima, and the brave men who fought and died there. After we were attacked by Pearl Harbor. In this devastating attack on the United States, eight battleships, eleven other naval vessels, and 188 aircraft were destroyed. The death toll was 2,280 soldiers and sixty-eight civilians, and 1,109 people were wounded.

Not quite as much as the current casualties in Iraq, but close.

It is an interesting and well researched article.

And it makes me want to cry and cry and cry. I don't care about figures and comparisons, and how this war differs from that one. I don't care about winning this war, I just want it to stop so no one else loses a husband, or a wife, or a mother, or a brother, or a sister, or a cousin, or a friend. I want these young men to come home.

What would we be winning? What exactly is the goal to be won? Someone remind me, because I don't remember. If it's to put a stop to terrorism, well, I don't think that's going to happen. That I just don't think will ever happen. If you look at Colombine, well, hell, we're growing them right here at home.

I just don't want to read anymore about how its ok for our guys over there to die because it falls within someone's parameters of whats acceptable losses for a war. I don't ever want to read that again. I don't want to hear it again. Its my choice. I'll stick my head in the sand. Why not? I have no happy face to put on today.

Its getting to be more real everyday. The fact that Travis is gone. And, no matter what I do, no matter how much I bargain, or how good I try to be, it won't bring him back. I guess after two years I would start to let go somehow, but its just so hard to do. Its almost too much to bear. I've lost my father, I've lost my mother, I've lost my sister, friends, people I have cared about, but nothing, nothing is like this pain. And it never goes away.

I have said it before, but I'll say it again. It becomes the point in your life from which all else is defined. It is the line where you say 'before or after'. And, its not that people don't sympathize. Or that people don't care. Some actually do. Its that my little boy is gone and he's never coming home. Ever.

This is why I shouldn't read these posts. This is what it brings to mind. Not that the war is good or bad. Not that God is real or not. Not that Bush or Cheney should be impeached. For me, it just reminds me that my little boy is never coming home.

And that's it.