Professor X, 


 You asked in my essay comment section if anything was wrong.  I would tell you, but it won't help as it is personal and isfor me to deal with.  I will say this: the loss of a child never gets easier.  You tell yourself things to get through it and beyond, but it is essentially to please those around you.  Always you live with a hole inside, and it will never go away.  Never.  Holidays are especially stressful, and I have no family with me this year, just my cat, and don't get me wrong, I thank God for her.  It's just the roller-coaster taking off again, and me hanging on for the ride.  I try to imagine Travis setting beside me, cheering me on, and it helps. 

While I love this class, I am looking forward to not trying to appear ok.  My son loved literature and reading.  He read two or three books a week, and, at 7 he understood the impact of the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird".  I remember him being home with me sick from school and we watched it together.  It was one of my favorites, and when Tom Robinson was judged guilty, he jumped from the sofa, and pointed indignantly at the TV, saying, "You know that man did not do nothing to that girl!  Mama, this is wrong!"  But then again my oldest son was absolutely mortified when the witch's monkey men destroyed the scarecrow and would not watch the rest of the movie at all.  He was 5.  LOLOL...wonderful memories.  Now in his 30's he is reading everything he can get his hands on.

This time of year is so hard for so many people.  The families of troops in far away lands, worried if they will come home at all.  Those trying to live with the fact their troops did not come home alive.  People having lost a parent, a sister, a friend, a husband or wife, , whose loss I imagine rivals that of a child.   I don't have any easy answers, or none at, really.  I just know that we, the survivors, carry on the best way we can.  

I put up a three foot tree yesterday with about 500 lights on it, as that is what makes the tree.  I often wonder back in the day when trees were lit with candles, just how many cabins and farmhouses burned to the ground on Christmas.  "Lordy, Mama, the trees on fire, grab the younguns,  looks like we're building another cabin, again!!  I think we need to find another new years resolution!"  Even I see that's pretty negative thinking.  Sasha cheered me up quite a bit as she loves the tree.  She inspects it, jumps on the table it sets on, and sticks her head up its hind-quarters, so to speak, and peaks out at me.  It is as if she wants to play with it, but doesn't know how.  And I'm in the background, saying, "Sasha, get out of the tree, stop that now, you don't want me to come over there, Sasha get down!"  And the band plays this same tune every single night.  So, then, why do I love it so much?

Been checking out the news and find that Lady Gaga's celebrity rivals that of Obama's, no, exceeds it, and what is up with that?  Who cares what she does?  Why do we care?  I'm just sick of it, though I do admire her for speaking out about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy which is probably one of the dumber things our government has come up with.   Gay people have populated this earth from day one.  Maybe they made up that story about Cain and Able.  Maybe they just wanted to get rid of Cain because of his sexual preference.  I don't know, I'm just thowing shit out here.  I'm just tired of this country not moving forward.  Do we have to wait until all the bigots with power die before we can accomplish anything that looks like progress in this country?  Will the jr. bigots be as bad?  (and I'm talking death by old age here!  Just letting big brother know!)

Why can't they come up with a prescription drug that treats bigotry and hatred?  Why can't they create something that Dr.'s can prescribe to their older republican patients that will take that edge off, loosen up their brains a little, make them realize that the shit they care about is ridiculous!  And what is this tea-bag party thing?  Who are they kidding?   Aren't they just republicans in disguise?  

Ok, somebody else jump on the soap box.  I'm damned tired.   

Oh, and I may be back, but don't count on it.  My schooling continues with American Lit, and College Algebra.    Oh, jolly jolly day!

The Carrollton Fire department made their run through the trailer park yesterday, sans Santa as it was raining.  And here I thought that fucker knew how to get around in bad weather!  Who knew?  Anyway, I am standing on my porch in the rain, delighted!  That's what got me moving to put up the tree.  Nothing like a fire truck and ambulance, in full siren to get you in the holiday spirit!  What?  

I'm sorry I am not using apa format here.  I have discovered I hate it, loath it, wish it would go away, it sucks balls.  

Ok, I'm done for real.

Be cool.

My son, EJ's, kids. They have grown so much. And they don't look like this at all now. This picture must be 3 years old, almost. You can find them on Facebook. Shit, you can find everyone on Facebook!

Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan: Virginia - Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan | Provisions | Understand the New Law | HealthCare.gov

Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan: Virginia - Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan | Provisions | Understand the New Law | HealthCare.gov

You know, I thought Health reform was going to really improve things for people. But looking at this information, if I didn't have insurance coverage already, and wanted to be covered in the state where I live I would be paying $616 a month in insurance premiums. Needless to say I couldn't afford it. It's ridiculous, I'm sorry. How is this a reform?

Internet Explorer 9 Beta Takes Off - PCWorld Business Center

Internet Explorer 9 Beta Takes Off - PCWorld Business Center

Ok, if I ever thought of actually purchasing an upgrade to Windows 7, this nipped it in the bud very effectively. If I ever purchase another computer it will be a Macintosh.

Why would Microsoft not support the use of its new "super-browser" Ie9 on the lowly XP user? Why not unless to force them to upgrade to yet another release of an operating system that is outrageously priced?

Bill Gates, just how rich do you need to be??

Facebook | Videos Posted by Cudira nga Bota!: NJE KERCIM DASME SI KY, NUK E KENI PARE GJATE GJITHE JETES TUAJ

Facebook | Videos Posted by Cudira nga Bota!: NJE KERCIM DASME SI KY, NUK E KENI PARE GJATE GJITHE JETES TUAJ

You have to watch this video! It will make you feel so good!

Facebook | Videos Posted by Cudira nga Bota!: NJE KERCIM DASME SI KY, NUK E KENI PARE GJATE GJITHE JETES TUAJ

Facebook | Videos Posted by Cudira nga Bota!: NJE KERCIM DASME SI KY, NUK E KENI PARE GJATE GJITHE JETES TUAJ

You have to watch this video! It will make you feel so good!

Crime Scene - 13 arrested for smoking in Falls Church

Crime Scene - 13 arrested for smoking in Falls Church

Of all the crap that goes on in the great state of Virginia, I am so glad they have gotten so choosy about their crimes. I understand that people do not like being around smokers these days, but throwing them in jail as opposed to issuing a ticket?? People please!

YouTube - DOG HUMPS OLD LADY... VERY FUNNY: ""

I don't know what perverted part of me finds this so hilarious!  OMG!

We are all sitting around here wondering what the hell Earl is going to do.  Earl.  Sounds like an uncle that drinks and burps and drops cigarette ashes all over your freaking house. "This here's my uncle Earl.  He just dropped in for few days, said he was in the area, don't know how long he's staying or where he's going next.  He's allright once you get to know him!"

The thing about this hurricane is that I feel like the people in New Orleans a little bit, facing Katrina. The weather channel is banking on a cold front to turn the hurricane.  But what do we do if it doesn't?

I just don't think people are taking this as seriously as they should. For me, I staying right here.  I have no transportation, everything I hold dear is right here. So, I'm hoping that things go as they are predicting.

Back in the day when we lived in Pensacola, we were hit by Hurricane Frederick, who made landfall close to Mobile, which was a good jump away. The thing I remember most, is worrying about my babies, and seeing the giant oak tree in the back yard, a massive tree, bending and swaying all night like a sapling in the wind. It was frightening but amazing at the same time. I remember the clouds boiling in the sky, heading our way, a huge line of purple and gray rolling through the sky.

Even if the eye of this hurricane is 75 miles off shore we are still going to have a lot of wind and water.  I will tell you tomorrow or the next day, or whenever, what happens. 

This was a picture of my mother taken circa 1939. It is probably the most precious thing my family had. That, and a picture of my Grandparents at their wedding, which I do not have. That picture was the prize, and the frame was very old. I would love to have that picture, or a copy, at least.

I think it says a lot about my families priorities in that there were no pictures that I can recall of my father's parents, or of him on his wedding day. My father worked hard keeping us together, and my mother worked equally hard trying to make a home for us, however it was, and to instill in us a fierce love for independence, good or bad. We have all had times when we needed help, but working up the raw courage to ask for it was horrendous. It was our option of last resort.

As kids we all knew that when we hit 18, we were out the door. Or at least that is the impression I was left with. One of my sisters came home to find that my mother had already packed her things for her. They didn't get on that well. That must have made a very lasting impression on my sister. She has proven very successful in her life, and now raises her grandson. I haven't spoken to her in almost 9 years, and wonder if I ever will. She has shut us out of her life, and I'm really not sure why. I hear she spends a lot of time at home, in her room, which, come to think of it was my mother's way of dealing with things. She went in her room, and you knocked always to enter. Conversely, my mother never knocked on a door in her life.

But, we sisters are all turning into my mother, slowly but surely. We all have a tendency toward distrust, and analyzing motives, but it is not that strong in me. I wish it was, at times. I have been taken for a ride many times but untrustworthy individuals, and could never quite grasp the concept of using someone so viciously for your own ends. Perhaps I have unknowingly used people, thinking I was doing something altruistic, but actually being very selfish in my rationale.

I don't know that my mother's sons inherited that aspect. They were looked on more favorably than the girls, as they were, just that, boys. And in keeping with that tradition, it is I guess in some way right that my oldest brother ended up with all the land my father worked so hard, so very, very hard to keep. I have always thought of owning land as a transient thing.Land as something we borrow on this earth, and happen to use it for a while, calling it our own. I understand that fortunes are made with land, but 50 years from now, who will care, who will remember? Hopefully we give something back, such as my father did, with the trees he planted, and the gardens he cultivated. My brother has also followed in his footsteps, in giving back to the land we called home.

And, I guess that's what makes this not just rambling, but a truth. When my mother passed away, that sense of home, the feeling we grew up with was gone. It evaporated, and left behind a house where my father would live, and I would live with him, but it never was really home again. We were waiting. And now, it is no more.

Nancy Pelosi on Ground Zero

OK, there's this big debate going on about the building a Mosque close to ground Zero.  Where the twin towers were.  I guess the anger about this comes from the word "Mosque" meaning a place where Muslims will worship.  And the word "Muslim" conjures up the word "Terrorist".  Well, if that is the case then the word "Jew" would conjure up the word "holocaust" and then the word "Nazi", and we would assume that all Germans are Nazi's, and I know for a fact they are not.

By not letting a mosque be built on what we now consider to be sacred ground, as so many lost their lives there, we are denying the basic principle on what our country was founded.  Freedom of religion is why we are all here.  The pilgrims came here to get out of the repressive society they found themselves in regarding religion.  It was either come here, or be burned as a heretic.  It would mean that all those who have fought and died defending the principles of this country and our Constitution are getting a big slap in the face.

I say go ahead, build your Mosque, worship as you wish.  Not every Muslim is a terrorist, not every Arab is a terrorist, not every person from the middle east is a terrorist.  We have got to stop the racial profiling sometime.

I haven't written anything worth reading in about a year now.  Don't know why.  I guess I lost interest in it all.  School has kept me busy, that's for sure.  I am learning a great deal about medical billing and coding, and its like learning a foreign language.

I have an account on Tagged, and I buy and sell people as pets.  Its a game of sorts, but its really odd in a way.  Is this the way slave owners felt?  It's kinda sick in a way.  Buying people as pets.  But, what the hell, I do it.  I have few luxuries in my life at this time.  But that's OK.  My son is doing so great.  I am so proud of his ass, you have no idea!  He is learning to cope with life's challenges without any mood-altering substance.  He is becoming a body builder of sorts, which is OK, as this releases endorphins which do enhance mood, but also promote a healthy heart, lungs, and health.

I just got back from the mailbox, which is about a block away, and my back killed me the whole way.  I don't take any kind of narcotic pain medicine, and I'm seriously thinking about seeing a orthopedic surgeon.  Maybe they can do something.  I have disc degeneration, and spurs on my spine and they suck balls.

I have been seeing my granddaughter, Axxxxxxx, frequently this summer and that is wonderful.  She was sitting on the sofa and we were talking about this and that, and suddenly she told me she thought she had crabs.  OK, two things popped into my head....she's had sex!  my sofa has to be sprayed and then the whole house!  Come to find out though, she described the symptoms of a yeast infection, which is probably due to hormonal changes.  I used to have them all the time.  So, I explained all of that to her, and was so relieved to find out it wasn't crabs. (my sofa!)  She told me one of her friends told her you could get crabs by touching someones hand, or drinking after them.  So we talked about that.  And it really amazed me to find out that even though this generation is bombarded with sexual information wherever they go, they still give each other useless information, just like we did!  Remember when you could get a venereal disease from a toilet seat?  Remember when someone said they were almost a virgin?  Those were the days!  Our generation had to learn everything the hard way.  To ask our parents about sex was just not done.  Oh, they would tell us not to get pregnant, but didn't tell us how not to.  They would tell us to be a lady and not lose our reputation, but didn't explain exactly how that would happen.

Things have changed for the better.  Now all a kid has to do to learn about sex is just watch a comedian perform his act.  He'll tell you just about everything you need to know.  Except Lewis Black, my favorite comedian in the whole world. He says fuck a lot, but its just an adjective mostly. I love this man.  

So, here I am at this poor neglected blog, again.  I spend a lot of time learning the concepts of the medical coding class I am taking.  It is much like learning a second language, but I find it fascinating.

I don't see too many people these days, a few neighbors, my friend Sandy, and my granddaughter Amber.  All of these things are a gift to me.  I feel my age, and wonder about my siblings and friends who live so far away from me.

I am getting older, this is true, and cannot be denied.  I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am never going to meet another man who will share my life.  I just don't think its going to happen.  I am pretty set in my ways, and bristle when someone suggests I change.  Why should I?  Change comes from within and not from without.  Well, only if survival dictates that change, and then it must be paramount, a slap in the face kind of response, that forces you to change or die.

I miss those warm wonderful magical days of my childhood, when everything, even the bad things, were held at bay by the golden sunlight that washed each new day.  I miss the rock where I used to sit and watch the creek at the bottom of the hill.  Oh, the dreams I had then.  I thought they would all come true.

A few of them actually did.

BBC News - Superhero Wonder Woman gets trendy make over

BBC News - Superhero Wonder Woman gets trendy make over

At its about time, don't you think? I was getting so tired of seeing those weird ass pointy tits. I like this look!

Ricky Scaggs and The Boston Pops

Don't you just love bluegrass music?

Obama, McChrystal conclude Oval Office talk

General McChrystal

I think it would be a huge mistake to fire McChrystal or reassign him at this point. He has been in Afghanistan for sometime and knows the area and people. I believe he has the right to state his mind, and feelings, and should not be penalized for it. I know this is a niave perspective, considering the military chain of command, but this man has served his country well, and should be recognized for it.

 

Sometimes we forget

from a friend! this is me!

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

 

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This is my favorite one. . 

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 Have a Fantastic day! 

Dr. Visit

Well, no, that's not his name...how confusing that would be.  Having a doctor named Dr Visit.  I see complications with that one right off the bat...

"So, where are you going today?"

"I have an appointment to see Dr. Visit."

"Oh, you have a doctor visit?  What's his name?"

"Dr. Visit."

"Yeah, I got that part...you have a doctor visit...but what's the doctor's name?"

"I told you already!  Visit!"

"Right, ok, Jesus, I was just asking.  Is he a psychiatrist, by any chance?"

"Dr. Visit is very nice."

"Maybe you just need to get out more, huh?"

Anyway, by the time I get there, what ever is wrong with me will be healed, magically, so I should probably cause and cancel, as just saying your going to the doctor is enough to cure you.  At least that has been my case.  I know he's going to bitch at me for something I do that most people are trying to quit doing but I'm too stubborn to give it up.  No, its not sex.  I remember the word, and that it has something to do with boys and girls, but I'm not quite sure what it is anymore.

EJ is doing fine. (knock-on-wood).  I got a web cam but I think its broke.  When I turn I use it, this video of a hideous older woman pops up.  God know, it's not me!  It can't be.  It looks a lot like my mother, though.

The course I'm taking is going pretty well.  We have discussion board posts we have to make.  And some of the people think that its a lot like yahoo.  For example:

midicreare is a insrance poilicy that is good for old peeple.

Ok, we are graded on punctuation and spelling, as well as content.  I'm not trying to be picky, but I posted the question, "is anyone taking this course using English as a second language?" but the instructor removed it.  I  understand that some of these people work, and have small children.  So, that plays a big factor in what they are able to accomplish given the time restraints.  So, blah, blah, blah.

Taking this online course is not so different from being in class, as you soon figure out who is the whiner, who is the know-it-all, who is the suck-up, who is the comic....and its me!

murder at walmart!

MURDER AT WALMART

 

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage,

a young husband decidedto solve both problems by taking out a

large insurance policy on his wife,with himself as the beneficiary,

and then arranging to have her killed.

 

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side

underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to

the husband that his going price for snuffing out aspouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but

that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect

his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid

at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet,

displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to

accept  the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the

local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in

the produce department & proceeded to strangle her

with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager

of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the

murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'

Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured

by the hidden securitycameras & observed by the store's security

guard, who immediatelycalled the police. Artie was caught and

arrested before he could even leave the store.

 

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the

whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements

with the hapless husband,who was also quickly arrested.

 

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...

 

 

 

(You're going to hate me for this...)

 

 

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

From a friend, had to share!

 The Grandmother of all Blonde Jokes

  This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of  all these
blonde jokes and how all blondes are  perceived as stupid.So, she decides to show her  husband that blondes really are smart. 
While  her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to
paint a couple of rooms in the house The  next day, right after her
husband leaves for work,  she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband  arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell  of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds  his wife lying on the
floor in a pool of sweat. He  notices that she is wearing a heavy
parka and a  leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and  asks
her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she
replies that she wanted  to prove to him that not all blonde women are
dumb,  and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a parka  over her leather jacket. She
replies that she was  reading the directions on the paint can and  it
said...

You'll love this... 

I know you will...
.
.
.
..
"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO  COATS."  

Why I love America's Got Talent!



This guy is amazing! I have no idea how he moves his body so well!

Happy Birthday Travis

Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics

School

I am in school again, yes, my old ass is back in school.  I am learning Medical Coding and billing and it is very, very challenging.  As all billing is done electronically now, I learning to navigate the billing software, learning the procedure codes and diagnostic codes, and trying my best to keep my head above water.  I'm hoping this class I'm currently enrolled in will net me at least a B.  The first two I got A's in.  Oh, let's do the happy dance.

Ok, I'm done.  My goal is to work from home, maybe start my own business if I live that long. HA!  I hear from my son EJ and he is doing well.  He cooks for the CO's in his jail, and is a trustee.  The greatest thing is that he is learning to cope without any substance what so ever.  He is getting into physical fitness, and works out every day.

My depression, as always, seems to ebb and flow, from day to day.  Some days I feel hopeless, some days I feel amazing, the bipolar ride.  I'm feeling the need to write again, something I have abandoned for awhile now.  Don't ask me why, it just walked up and slapped me on the head!

My friend R was arrested for driving on a suspended license, so I hooked him up with EJ's lawyer, a marvelous man, a fine man, and an excellent lawyer.  I don't know what's going to happen with R, as he may be designated a habitual offender, here in the great Commonwealth of VA.  The laws in this state are wack, and there is no longer the Miranda law, it seems. I always thought when they handcuffed a person, you were being arrested, and the next step was to recite your miranda rights, but, hey, not so, not in VA.  I think this is a kickback of sorts from the Patriot Act.

I have a new friend, S, and I love her to death.  She has been a very good influence on my life.  And of course, I have my new daughter, Lorena Marty, and my new grandson Tristan.  I love them both so much.  I can't tell you the joy they have brought to me.  I am truly blessed in many, many ways.  And I can see that light, there!, right there, at the end of this tunnel!

My new make-believe boyfriend! Lord have mercy, this is a fine looking man! Gets my hormones in an uproar.

I was feeling sick one day, and was laying in bed, looking for something to watch on TV. I hit the On Demand button, scrolled through the movies, didn't like any, then went to HBO, and scrolled through the series. I saw Trueblood, and thought, why not see what this is about. I started with Season 1, and after about 30 minutes, I was hooked. I spent the next two days catching up on this wonderful, amazing, fantastic show on TV. I loved it. I can't wait for the next season to start.

Something about this show makes me feel like I'm 20 years old again, and ready for anything. There is excitement, sex, humor, social commentary (though cleverly disguised) and just about anything you could want. It grabs you somewhat the way Lost did in the very beginning. I just hope it doesn't lose it's momentum the way that Lost did, for me, anyway.

Anyway, couldn't you just pour this man in a plate, and sop him up with a biscuit??

2010-05-03

Now how could any mother have a more wonderful Mother's day gift than finding her grandson?  Allow me to introduce you to Tristan, who will be 7 years old on May 9, 2010.  He has his father's nose and ears, and that stare is unmistakeable.  One day, I hope to hug this little boy and tell him just how much he means to me.  He is a gift from God.  His mother is a jewel, a kind, giving person.  Travis, I found your son!
Tristan, ain't he a doll!!

Things sure have changed

A friend sent me this and you just have to read this stuff to believe it!  I can't believe we actually had some of this advertising back in the day!  Take a look:

GARLIC
WARNING

 

For years, doctors and scientists have told us that some foods are good for us, only to be told later that they are bad for us, and again they tell us
that some foods are bad for us, and all the time they've been good for us.
 

There doesn't seem to be much proof either way to suggest what is good or bad, until now.



 
Looks like  "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT"  is true !!!   See the proof below! ....................

 



So, watch your Garlic intake ...

* * * * * * * * * * *

Ads
From The
Good Old Times 
Some of
these ads will make you say, ‘What the hell were they
thinking?’

* * * * * * * * * * *

   Will I Live  to see 80?

Here's something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 64)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, “Do you think I'll live to be 80?”

He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?”

“Oh no,” I replied,  “I'm not doing drugs, either!”

Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

“I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”

“No, I don't,” I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

           “No,” I said.

          He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a shit?"

*
* * * * * * * * * *

A touching story

A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand along Highway 17
near Kenora, Ontario early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck
walked out over the corn they had spread in the low shrubs ~ the buck was
magnificent...a once in a lifetime animal. His rack was huge. The hunter's
hand shook as his mind was already counting the Boone and Crockett
points.

Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leopold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the unsuspecting buck. As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a life time, his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly down Highway 17.

The hunter pulled away from the gun stock, set the rifle down, took off his
hat, bowed his head, and then closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was stunned.

"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you
do. You actually let that trophy deer go to pay respects to a passing funeral procession. You are indeed the kindest man I have ever known, and I feel lucky
to call you a friend."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 37 years"

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Health care reform?

Massive Medicare Pay Cut Will Take Effect April 1

Now, you may be wondering how this will effect those who have Medicare as a primary insurance, or those who have Tricare.  Well, this is how it works.  A physician charges 200 for a complete physical, will say.  When the claim is submitted, Medicare will approve somewhere around 75 for the procedure.  This physician is a participating provider with Medicare, which means he will accept what Medicare approves.

With this new legislation, Medicare may now only approve 50 for this procedure.  The physician loses money in the deal, which makes him start to think is it worth it to accept patients who's primary insurance coverage is Medicare?  As I am on disability, this affects me, because I don't want to lose my primary care physician.  However, a physician has to look at many factors concerning his practice.  His insurance, for medical malpractice, liability on his employees, payroll, membership fees, license fees, let's just say a lot of overhead.  And, he has to make a living doing what he has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to learn to do.

The reason Tricare would be affected is they use basically the same principles as Medicare.  Will the purchase of a Medicare Supplement Plan help offset some of these expenses?  Probably not, as that plan, while giving Medicare patients more choices in coverage, ultimately still follows the Medicare billing procedures.

I think this is really going to hurt a lot of seniors, disabled people, and families of military people in the long run.  Finding the doctor who accepts your insurance is going to be the problem.  Even if the planned offset to October is achieved, it's going to happen sometime. 

What were they thinking?

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So, it's been forever since I posted anything here. Many times I have come here to write, but life just hasn't given me anything good to write about. So, here's what's happening.

I am dealing with the fact that my oldest son is in jail for at least the next six months for doing something not so much harmful to anyone, as something just plain stupid. By being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person. Enough said.

He is handling everything very well. He's become a trustee and cooks for the staff. He keeps busy working out, and calls me regularly. I wish things were different but there not, so I just have to go on. Like in that movie, "Alien" when the actor John Hurt? says, "We must go on, we must go on..." Boy, was he wrong.

Because I have diabetes and peridontitus, I have lost most of my teeth. The only problem is I can't afford any new ones. And anyway, I don't have any transportation to get there and get my discount dentures anywho.  Whenever I look in the mirror I see my mom looking right back at me.  Scary, huh? Right now, I have no food in the house, except some bread and two cans of soup, which isn't too bad, cause I can't eat anything anyway. Being on disability sucks. It sucks balls.

I started an accredited online course in Medical Coding and I love it. I got a financial aid package that someday will have to be repaid. HA! So, I have to get work as a Coder or something similar when I am through. Don't know quite how I'm going to do it yet, but I will.  Seems like I owe everyone money, and someday I will pay it back, God willing. 

My young friend Chris still rents a room from me, and he pays me a little for staying here. That helps out a lot. But, the biggest thing, the most wonderful thing to happen to me is that I have finally located my missing grandson. He is part Phillapino and he is wonderful. His mother has become like a daughter to me, and she is very precious. She sent me a copy of his birth certificate so I know it is true. His mom is working in Hong Kong, and trying her best to take care of him. When I get her approval, I will publish a picture of him here. My hope is that we can meet one day.*






*I found him, Travis.

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One of my favorite songs ever...

Roscadoodle

It was in September of 1999.  I was staying with my father, helping him, and him helping me, when I developed what we used to call women's problems.  I had just had a DC and came home.  Lying on my bed, my sister Geraldine stuck her head in the door, and said, "Do you want this?"  I said, "What?" and she placed a small grey kitten on my chest.  Of course I went crazy over him, and said, "Yes, yes!!"  She had found him in the FasChek parking lot.  I looked at him and decided I would name him Roscoe.

He turned out to be one of the smartest cats I ever seen.  He was adventurous, but cautious in his own way.  He soon became the king cat in the house.  My father's cats, Barney and Clyde, and LuLu Bell looked at him with disdain.  The outside cat, that one one else could touch but Daddy, chased him whenever he went outside.

I remember the day he came running in the house, meowing his head off, covered in cobwebs.  Evidently the outside cat, named Kitten, had chased him under the old smokehouse.  I laughed and wiped the cobwebs off of him, calling him my little Roscadoodle.  Daddy, who couldn't hear at all by this time, listened as I told him I named him Roscoe, and immediately said, "Let's call him Cedric."  I said ok.  So for about two years, Roscoe had two names, Roscoe and Cedric. 

He was fascinated by the Racoons that used to come up on the back porch at night and eat whatever they could find.  I would chase them off, as we left out trash cans out there.  We finally devised a way to racoon proof our trash cans, but they still visited the porch.  A few of them I got to know.  The huge mail, beautiful, unafraid.  The wiry little female who always seemed ragged and worn.  Sometimes she would bring her babies with her, and they we absolutely the cutest things in the world.  Roscoe hated them all.

One night I heard a commotion and looked out to see the whole freaking family out on the porch.  They got in a fight and ran under the porch, and Roscoe ran right under there with them.  I figured that was the last of Roscoe, but, no, he just went under to watch. 

He would spy on my brother Buddy, who he disliked, for hours.  Just sitting outside his tool shed, peaking through a crack, while Buddy went about his mechanical business.  He liked my sister-in-law pretty well, and Geraldine.  But he was really my cat.

He was so attuned to my moods.  He knew when I cried, for he would come to comfort me.  He knew when something was different, for he would come to me and tell me.  Many is the morning I have woken up with him sitting on my chest, touching my face with his paw. 

When I left West Virginia to move to Virginia I left him with  my sister for a year.  Shortly after I moved here in 2005, I lost my son, and I went back to WV when my sister died, in 2006.  Roscoe was still there, and felt so bad for leaving him there.  He was skinny, but I knew my sister had done the best she could for him.  I brought him back to Virginia with me, him in his cat carrier, meowing his head off for 6 and half hours.

He quickly established himself in the house as the top cat again.  Though much smaller than the cat my son had given me, Sasha, he bossed her around as much as possible.  Like before, if he didn't want her on the bed at night, he picked a fight with her, and ran her off.   Sometimes, though, he would spend a lot of time grooming her. 

My neighbors soon learned that Roscoe was my "little boy", and he was here for me again.  He began getting sick about three months ago.  He had stomach cancer.  I cried when he died, and I still cry when I think about him.  He was so very, very special to me.  Sometimes I still think I here him at night, but I guess that's to be expected.  When I go to the kitchen, I expect him to follow me, and watch what I'm doing. 

There are many, many more memories of Roscoe.  Such as the Christmas he spent jumping in and out of the Christmas tree, until me and Daddy had to secure it to the wall.  Actually, Daddy's last Christmas.

I love you Roscoe, and I think there must be a special place for you somewhere.

Roscoe Cedric

September 1999-January 2010