Translate

Aug 9, 2007

And now, the News

Farmer attacks police with muck spreader

A farmer in Germany, after police tried to take his tractor from him, attacked, evaded, and escaped said police for seven hours in said tractor. He used the attached muck-raker to damage several police vehicles before he took off through the forest. They found him hiding out in his barn seven hours later, no doubt with an order to approach with 'caution'. No, he did not borrow the muck-raker from George Bush. A man and his tractor shall not be soon parted.


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a baby..

A couple in New Zealand are fighting the good fight for their two month old son. After their initial name of '4Real" was turned down for their tiny son by the register's office, they have decided to name him "Superman" instead, and call him 4Real, anyway. (Dammit!) However, they are fighting for the right to have his legal name registered as 4Real Wheaton. Or maybe just '4Real'. If only little babies could talk at 2 months old. This kid's got to go to school someday dad.....?! "So, for real, what is your name?" "4Real" "Right. So what is it?" "4Real." "That's what we said, ain't it?" "Yes" "So what's your name?" "4Real." "Yes, for real...god, you're so stupid." "It's 4Real!! I'm not stupid!!" "It's for real you are!!" Gives me a headache.


It's safe to go back into water, doorman says

Ok, everybody back in the water. Forget about taking your in laws on that sea-side excursion to the sunny coast of Cornwall, England. There are no great White Sharks in the water. The picture, of a great white shark, (can't fool you guys!) that caused all the excitement was actually taken during a fishing trip to South Africa by Kevin Keeble, a local doorman, and evident Wild and Crazy Guy. He sent said picture to the paper saying it was taken near the British surfing resort of Newquay. Reporters, always check your sources!!! Always check your sources!!! Are you daft?


Parking-Lot Fender Bender for Britney

Poor Britney, she hit another car trying to park her own while shopping today. She evidently inspected her car and went about her merry way, not leaving a note or anything!!! Ooooowh!!!The owner of the Mercedes, the car that got rammed, Kim Robard-Rifkin, 59, thought she would be a "mensch", (good person, for all the non-Yiddish out there) but instead she turned out to be a putz. Britney, hire a professional driver. Take a limo. Ride a bike. Jog. Or better yet. Stay home. I thought maybe she had ran into Tupac or something.

Oh, well, enough excitement for one day.

And, I'm outta here...............................................!

7 comments:

SJ said...

That was funny - for real!

just me said...

4real?

alphonsedamoose said...

4REAL is a one way ticket to a life of "Gimme your lunch money kid"

Babzy said...

I have a splitting headache. Why do they let these people breed?

just me said...

Oh, Babzy, I love the sunglasses! Alphonse, all I can say is God help this poor child.

Catmoves said...

Some good laughs. Babzy got those sunglasses where? LIke they say, you can't keep a good blonde down. I wonder what the alternative to "4Real" is? And how would the kid initial anything?

just me said...

Cat, 4.R., ?? I just hope the court battle takes at least 18 years, and by then the kid will be a famous rap star, live in a mansion, and let his parents live in a shed, and do the yard work.

Maybe he'll call Dad 10times. "10times, mow the grass in the lower 40 today!" "Ten times!!" "You heard me, didn't you? What, you don't like the shed anymore? You prefer the doghouse?"
"No, son, 10times sounds good to me. I love 10times. 10times is my middle name!" "4Real!!"