Farmer attacks police with muck spreader
A farmer in Germany, after police tried to take his tractor from him, attacked, evaded, and escaped said police for seven hours in said tractor. He used the attached muck-raker to damage several police vehicles before he took off through the forest. They found him hiding out in his barn seven hours later, no doubt with an order to approach with 'caution'. No, he did not borrow the muck-raker from George Bush. A man and his tractor shall not be soon parted.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a baby..
A couple in New Zealand are fighting the good fight for their two month old son. After their initial name of '4Real" was turned down for their tiny son by the register's office, they have decided to name him "Superman" instead, and call him 4Real, anyway. (Dammit!) However, they are fighting for the right to have his legal name registered as 4Real Wheaton. Or maybe just '4Real'. If only little babies could talk at 2 months old. This kid's got to go to school someday dad.....?! "So, for real, what is your name?" "4Real" "Right. So what is it?" "4Real." "That's what we said, ain't it?" "Yes" "So what's your name?" "4Real." "Yes, for real...god, you're so stupid." "It's 4Real!! I'm not stupid!!" "It's for real you are!!" Gives me a headache.
It's safe to go back into water, doorman says
Ok, everybody back in the water. Forget about taking your in laws on that sea-side excursion to the sunny coast of Cornwall, England. There are no great White Sharks in the water. The picture, of a great white shark, (can't fool you guys!) that caused all the excitement was actually taken during a fishing trip to South Africa by Kevin Keeble, a local doorman, and evident Wild and Crazy Guy. He sent said picture to the paper saying it was taken near the British surfing resort of Newquay. Reporters, always check your sources!!! Always check your sources!!! Are you daft?
Parking-Lot Fender Bender for Britney
Poor Britney, she hit another car trying to park her own while shopping today. She evidently inspected her car and went about her merry way, not leaving a note or anything!!! Ooooowh!!!The owner of the Mercedes, the car that got rammed, Kim Robard-Rifkin, 59, thought she would be a "mensch", (good person, for all the non-Yiddish out there) but instead she turned out to be a putz. Britney, hire a professional driver. Take a limo. Ride a bike. Jog. Or better yet. Stay home. I thought maybe she had ran into Tupac or something.
Oh, well, enough excitement for one day.
And, I'm outta here...............................................!