Oct 8, 2007

I'm not making this up...

"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007

How do I get this one by spell check?

"I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." --George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

I'm sure the Mandela's were shocked to hear this one!

"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president." --George W. Bush, as quoted by author Robert Draper in Dead Certain

I got a feeling God's had it up to here.....

"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007

So that's his secret! He really is stupid, it isn't an act....

"These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." --George W. Bush, Sofia, Bulgaria, June 11, 2007

Can you imagine the teachers who had to grade his term papers in school? "No, George, you're just restating the same thing over and over again."

"Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

See, he can grasp complex themes. He understands that you find on blogs on internets...To bad he can't dance....

"Either we'll succeed, or we won't succeed. And the definition of success as I described is sectarian violence down. Success is not no violence." --George W. Bush, on Iraq, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

Could you repeat that in English, please?

"The best thing about my family is my wife. She is a great first lady. I know that sounds not very objective, but that's how I feel. And she's also patient. Putting up with me requires a lot of patience." --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

Somehow, I think we already knew that. Would love to hear Laura's conversations with God..."Oh, why, Lord, why have thou forsaken me...Please, God, please, how long must I suffer this torment..."

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." --George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

Hmmmm.....I think you already have....but, keep up the good work, by all means...

"And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life's moving on, that they're able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table." --George W. Bush, interview on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Jan. 16, 2007

That's right, dammit. Send those kids to school and put them to work. Mr. Lehrer, you are such a brave man...(Ok, which one's the turkey?)

"Politics comes and goes, but your principles don't. And everybody wants to be loved -- not everybody. ... You never heard anybody say, 'I want to be despised, I'm running for office.'" --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

Which makes it a good thing you won't be running again. "Hello, I'm George Bush, and my principles are despised, but I'm still running for office..."

My personal favorite:

Historical Quote of the Day (AP)
"A moment I've been dreading. George (Bush Sr.) brought his ne're-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something.
That looks like easy work."
-- Ronald Reagan in his recently published diaries, written May 17, 1986


ddrips said...

what is the name of this comedien ? never get tired of seeing him making foolof himself ... good laugh

Spadoman said...

You've convinced me. He's a disgrace to the office. We have to remember. He was "selected", of the white house not elected, and he is the "resident", not the president.

No one on the right side of the aisle wants to ever talk about these assinine things that this individual does in the public eye, but get a blow job while on the time clock and they want to impeach you. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

I dont know if you know this, but the photo of him holding the book upside down is a photoshop job, and the "historical quote" is not real. Its satire:

alphonsedamoose said...

Do you suppose Ronald Reagan is sorry he ever listened to George Sr. I know he's dead but maybe God is giving him flak for George Jr. or making him listen to the crying.

Catmoves said...

Great, hilarious post. Of course, the rabid Republicans are hunting for you now.
How about a scary thought? Did you know this President has the power to put the Constitution on hold and declare himself Pres for life?
I hope I'm only kidding.

BBC said...

I keep hoping that someone will do the world a favor and take him out.

I'm not sure it would make any difference though, life is like a can of mixed nuts, the big ones work their way to the top.

And then we vote for them. *Sigh*

Spadoman said...

anonymous.... you can defend a few of these as doctored and what not. The fact remains that this president has said and done many things that were ridiculous. They are not all doctored, they are not all lies. The satire is part of being in the public eye. Ever watch Mad TV or Saturday Night Live?

Bottom line is that when a president says something like "Money trumps, uh, peace", he tells us where his priorities lie. Satire aside, he has said and done dumb things of that nature throughout his tenure. Pick and choose your defenses all you want.

Rather curious as to why you choose to be anonymous. Come out in the public eye. At least the president you defend has his name out there and he lets people know he's made an ass of himself now and again.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Did you hear this one? "Frodo failed; Bush got the Ring." Ain't it the truth.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord, Deb. I laughed all the way through this post. Love the photos of Bush and Chimps. The comments in between each quote are even funnier. Is that your mind at work? You crack me up.

Woozie said...

Okay, I watched the childrens do learn one live, but there's no way he could have said that Saddam killed all the Mandelas. George Bush can't be that stupid. That's astoundingly, bewilderingly dumb.

dawn said...

Good post Deb I cannot say anything more than what is already stated

just me said...

Woozie, you got me thinking, and so did anonymous, as I have checked things out on Snopes myself. So I found a few other news sources reporting that ole George did say the above:

"Mandela still alive after embarrassing Bush remark - Yahoo! News"

And one source, that says his words were taken out of context, that he was actually saying their were no leaders like Mandela in Iraq.

Here is what he actually said:

"I thought an interesting comment was made when somebody said to me, I heard somebody say, 'now where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandela's.

He was a brutal tyrant that divided people up and split families and people are recovering from this. So there's a psychological recovery that is taking place and it's hard work for them and I understand that it's hard work for them."]

Which ever way you look at it still makes no sense to me.

I also see Spadoman's point in that even though some of this may be satire, what makes it funny is its being so close to the truth.

just me said...

ddrips: Glad to see you here. You guys go check out the paintings. They are beautiful...

catmoves: I was thinking about that very thing. It is a frightening idea.

Moose: I think Reagan must be kicking himself in, well, where ever he is, right now.

Babzy: Yes, the comments are mine. They come from the dark corners of my demented cranium.

Billy: I really don't want to see that happen. Maybe he could pull some time in a mental institution. Not a regular hospital, he would want to invade the cardiac ward.

Enemy, Dawn: Always glad to see you here.

Catmoves said...

Babzy, what really bothers me are two facts. Bush not only got a bacjelor's degree, he also got a master's degree. (Note I did not use the word "earned".)
The only thing I can figure is that Daddy's money and endowments turned this illiterate man loose on the world.

Anne said...

Funny. I like the last one, about Reagan.

BBC said...

At the retreat we decided that the best thing that could happen is that he be found guilty of war crimes. And have to live with that the rest of his life.

BRUNO said...

I try to stay out of political arguments nowadays. You're either ALL wrong, or ALL right---no middle ground, anymore.

We'll NEVER see another Ronald Reagan! Damned shame, too. He was a man you DID NOT want to call your bluff, on!

I always thought, "An actor, for president?" Yep, and it seemed to work out just fine!

But---sorry---Fred Thompson just ain't it!

SpongyBones said...

I can't even begin to tell you what I really think of that chit pile they call President.

*Goddess* said...

I love the way Bush repeats the same thing several times during a speech as if that makes him sound smart. I guess "presidenting is hard work" as they say on SNL.