"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007
How do I get this one by spell check?
"I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." --George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007
I'm sure the Mandela's were shocked to hear this one!
"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president." --George W. Bush, as quoted by author Robert Draper in Dead Certain
I got a feeling God's had it up to here.....
"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007
So that's his secret! He really is stupid, it isn't an act....
"These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." --George W. Bush, Sofia, Bulgaria, June 11, 2007
Can you imagine the teachers who had to grade his term papers in school? "No, George, you're just restating the same thing over and over again."
"Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007
See, he can grasp complex themes. He understands that you find on blogs on internets...To bad he can't dance....
"Either we'll succeed, or we won't succeed. And the definition of success as I described is sectarian violence down. Success is not no violence." --George W. Bush, on Iraq, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007
Could you repeat that in English, please?
"The best thing about my family is my wife. She is a great first lady. I know that sounds not very objective, but that's how I feel. And she's also patient. Putting up with me requires a lot of patience." --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007
Somehow, I think we already knew that. Would love to hear Laura's conversations with God..."Oh, why, Lord, why have thou forsaken me...Please, God, please, how long must I suffer this torment..."
"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." --George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007
Hmmmm.....I think you already have....but, keep up the good work, by all means...
"And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life's moving on, that they're able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table." --George W. Bush, interview on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Jan. 16, 2007
That's right, dammit. Send those kids to school and put them to work. Mr. Lehrer, you are such a brave man...(Ok, which one's the turkey?)
"Politics comes and goes, but your principles don't. And everybody wants to be loved -- not everybody. ... You never heard anybody say, 'I want to be despised, I'm running for office.'" --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007
Which makes it a good thing you won't be running again. "Hello, I'm George Bush, and my principles are despised, but I'm still running for office..."
My personal favorite:
Historical Quote of the Day (AP)
"A moment I've been dreading. George (Bush Sr.) brought his ne're-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something.
That looks like easy work."
-- Ronald Reagan in his recently published diaries, written May 17, 1986