I'm not sure if Ej will be going back to the ER today or not. I tried to make him go yesterday as he has not improved since he got home. He told his friend more about his condition than me, as he doesn't want me to worry. Yeah, right. Anyway, we'll see what happens today. I could force him, but as he's 28, and that's hard to do. He is as stubborn as I am.
The other day, a friend of ours came over to fix our heat pump, God bless his heart, and he brought his wife with him. She and I, (notice I didn't say me and her, which was my first instinct) sat and talked while they worked on the pump. Somehow we started talking about politics. I can't remember who brought it up. Oh, I remember, I showed her the decorations on my blog, the anti-bush ones, and said I hoped she wasn't a republican. She said, well, as a matter of fact....she was.
So we discussed Bush's Iraq policy, and she was all for it, stating if we didn't do something about the terrorists, if we pulled out now, they would just follow us home and blow us all up. Well, of course I had to voice my opinion, saying that the terrorists were not from Iraq, but Afghanistan, and other Arab countries. That Bush went into Iraq looking for a reason to invade. She said, well they hated us, and would do anything to see our country fall. I said, all the Arab countries hate us. I said many operations in Iraq were conducted to keep insurgents from crossing the border into Iraq from Syria, one for example, Operation Matador.
Anyway, she said something to the effect that she had voted for Bush. I said, Whatever for? The man is insane. There were a few things about dignity, and going after those responsible for 9/11. I said most presidents wouldn't have had any other options than to go after them.
We disagreed on this. Anyway, things got a little heated, and I said what had always been in the back of mind, but I had never voiced. That if wasn't for Bush and his war, my son might still be alive. She said, I swear I'm not making this up, she said not necessarily. I looked at her, and said what do you mean? She said he might have been deployed to some other location and been killed there. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm the one who said it. Which opened me up to responses such as this one. But the coldness of a statement like that shocked me. So matter of fact, like discussing who fumbled the ball at the football game.
Then I started thinking about destiny. It was all I could do to keep from screaming and ripping her throat out, but all I said was I had never thought of it that way. I was pretty much shocked, I guess. I should be used to it by now. Most people react to his death in Iraq the same way. "Well, he's just a statistic." or "What did he expect would happen?" Unspoken, but hanging in the air, challenging me.
Then I try to talk about the son who wasn't a corpsman. The one who loved cats, who loved his family, who could do just about anything and make people laugh. The one who read books all the time, and whose son was the light of his life. And, its like I'm talking to myself. The subject is changed, to something at random.
Many will say that some people are just uncomfortable talking about death. Well, there is such a thing as being appropriate and acknowledging someone's loss. It's not hard to devote a few minutes to listening to someone talk about this type of thing. Its a type of validation that says, yes, I hear you, and I will listen for a moment or two.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she was right in what she said. I'm still a little floored by it all, but she was in my home, and it is my policy that whoever enters my home, will be treated with respect, until they start throwing beer bottles and act like a crazed baboon. We all have boundaries.
So, I'm asking you. Did I over react? Did I take a simple discussion and turn it into another thing all together? We actually parted as friends, but why do I still feel sad about the whole thing?
And, as for EJ, when I tell people what happened they seem to think he bumped his head. No big thing. Is it just me, or has the whole world forgotten the word compassion? Do I expect too much? Tell me what you honestly think. I really need some kind of feedback on this.