Ramblings from the outside of nowhere

*Once upon a mid-day dreary
While I cussed IE explore
Suddenly there came a tapping,
But twas not a gentle rapping,
Rapping at my chamber door...

It was a crazy ass lady robin, trying desperately to bash her brains in by continually running into my patio door. My cat's are in absolute ecstasy, watching this bird bang her head repeatedly against the glass. Why she hasn't self destructed by now, I have no idea.


I've tried to figure out what the hell she's doing. I thought first she saw a reflection of herself, and was trying to fight it, or run it off. Then I thought, maybe sometime or other she had a nest in here, and was trying to gain access. Somehow that doesn't seem right. I used to have chimney sweeps that would nest in the chimney of an old farm house we lived in. It was wonderful to here them in there chirping, but it drove my ex batshit. Which made the chirping that much more enjoyable. They are the most beautiful birds I have ever seen. How do I know? One flew out into the house, and the kids and I chased it around for an hour or so, trying to throw a towel on it, so we could take it outside. We finally did, and the little bird was not the worse for its adventure.

But this Robin has been banging her head for about 4 days now, and she is one tough bird, I got to say. I was going to search for info, but I accidentally deleted IE7, and, my advice, don't do it...ever!!! I wrangled with that mother for two days, and somehow reinstalled it. (Don't ask me how, but I did!!)

Anyway, back to the bird problem, we hung a few items outside the door, to frighten her away, but she's too smart for that. She saw right through our petty plan. I guess the next step is a scarecrow, but as it is spring, that would not be seasonal. Oh, well, what the fuck...

It has to be some instinct driving her, and I'm scared I am going to look out sometime and see bird brains splattered all over the door. (Why did bird brains make me think of Bush!?!)

On top of all that, she's shitting all over my deck, in front of the door. How she finds time to eat while she's making a run at the window twelve hours a day, is beyond me. When I open the door, she fly's off, and I even let the cat's out, thinking maybe they would scare her away, but I think she scared them away.


Is she a loony bird? I don't know, but I got to give her credit for not giving up. Maybe she just doesn't like sliding glass doors. Any suggestions?

*my most sincere appolgies to E.A.Poe, for using any parts of his most magnificent poem, "The Raven".