May 18, 2007

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
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Ok, I stole this from Enemy at (I tried to shorten the link, but it didn't work. Anywho, I don't know if I agree with any of this. I am grateful for the things I have. My son, my home, the food in my cupboard, the water that pours from a faucet, the natural beauty I see everyday, and my books. I am totally grateful for Vincent D'Nofrio just being in the world. But, I don't think success has ever gone to my head...well, just writing that makes me think that maybe it has.

I used to be extremely competitive, whether I would admit then or not. If someone did something praise worthy, I had to bust my ass to go one better. Now, I am learning, (note learning) to be more tolerant of my abilities. I know you don't want to hear it, but being bi-polar means you believe at times there is nothing you can't do. That all of your thoughts are reasonable, and your advice is priceless. Whether you know the person you are advising or not, is neither here not there. At these times, I feel I am the greatest success in the world. My solutions to the great mysteries of life are the correct ones. Such as, "I know how to end all poverty!" I forget what it was exactly, but I knew I must contact the president immediately to discuss my theories.

However, as my mind was racing so fast, a new idea popped in my head. I used to be able to create rhymes effortlessly. Whether they were good or bad, I can't say, other than that "clanging", or random words that rhyme came easily. Even in conversation, I could speak in rhymes. However, its not because you choose to. You just open your mouth and here they come.

But, with the recent events in my life, I am re-examining every thing I thought I was good at. I can't help it. I guess its part of the whole process.

With regards to luck, the only thing I can compare it to would be the superstitious belief that certain talismans I wore or had in my possession would protect the ones I love. A necklace, a cross, a letter I received, and never hanging the phone up first. I still do this with my son. Any phone conversation we have, he must be the first one to disconnect. He knows this now, so its not a problem. And even though it didn't work for another, I still do it.

I wore a little yellow band on my wrist that said "Faith" for months until one day it broke, and I was devastated. I started to purchase a new one, but felt it wouldn't be the same. A few weeks later, I received the news I didn't want to hear. Prayed not to hear. I kept thinking of that yellow band, and how it had broken. I try to tell myself it played no part, but deep down inside I will always wonder. Sounds insane, I know.

I really think that we make our own luck. Meaning if we want something to happen we strive for that. But then I realize no matter how much we want it, we don't always get it. Perhaps the tarot is right. Sometimes luck does play a part in the grand scheme of things. And sometimes luck can change.*

*And another depressing post from the mind of just me. Hoorah, Hooroo, Hooray!!!