Translate

May 15, 2007

The Sit-in Revisited


I was sitting here playing Mahjong, which I must say is one of my secret vices, well, not now, cause I just told everybody. But, anywho, a thought popped into my head. It started when I thought how frustrated I was getting. Which made me think about how many things frustrate me today, which made me think about what other people are frustrated about. And it hit me! George Bush. Wouldn't it be great if he just made an occasional appearance, and then, poof!, disappeared like Kaizer Soze? Became a myth parents used to frighten their children to make them behave..."Better be good, Johnny, because George Bush might get you!" Oh, right, that wouldn't work, because parents probably do that already.


So, I thought what we need is a good old-fashioned sit-in. For those of you too young to remember, that is where a bunch of people supporting a certain cause, sit in a prominent place and sing weird folk songs. Of course, back then most of them were high, but I think it would work OK if you were straight. You would have to leave your cell phones at home, because all of the personal rings would interfere with the singing, and could possibly result in a spin-off of the original sit-in, where sit-in members start another sit-in protesting cell phones. That group would probably consist of older people. This is because older people seem to consider "jewelry" a fashion accessory instead of cell phones.


Anywho, we would sit there for days, if necessary, so we would need a porta-potty, or access to a wooded area. Everyone should bring a cooler, with snacks and drinks, probably one of those cheap disposable kinds so we won't have to worry about it when we get arrested.


Now, don't be shocked. That's the whole purpose of the sit-in. We sit around singing, and snacking, and protesting, until we annoy the protestees (the people we are protesting) so much, they send in the swat team to beat us severely about the head and shoulders. Hopefully, if its a particularly hot day, they'll turn a firehose on us, so at least we'll get a free shower. Which we will probably need after all that snacking, and frequent trips to woods. (Toilet paper would be a strictly BYO thing.) That's where the being high part was so helpful. All you needed then was some 'grass' and beads, and you were set.


Pennsylvania Avenue would be our target location. Of course we might be deemed terrorists, so we would need to have a few people familiar with something called civil rights, as most of us have forgotten what we knew about this subject. Or, perhaps, we are just so confused about it we would need an interpretor. I vote for Sean Penn. But, we'll all have a say as to who you choose, so don't get your under drawers in a knot.


Oh, yeah, we'll probably need blankets, particularly ones with a Navajo accent, you know, with a lot of turquoise and stuff. I think you can get them pretty cheap at Walmart. Nobody will know you didn't get it in New Mexico, or Arizona, or out west somewhere. You don't really want to spend too much, as they will probably need to be disposable like the coolers. Waste not, want not!!


We would have to meet somewhere, maybe rent a stadium for a day, and discuss our goals, and develop a game plan. I mean the parking alone would take a good sized committee to sort out. We have to remember that this is a team effort, and there is no I in team. There's an e but no I. What that means, I'm not sure.


We'll have to schedule our vacations about the same time, preferably paid vacations, getting your check upfront, for emergencies, such as bail, and what not. This could really be a fun experience. I mean, everyone would have a bad hair day, so that wouldn't be concern.


We'll need to practice group chanting, such as phrases like Bush Sucks, or Impeach Bush, or even, Bush Lies. That shouldn't take too long. All of us are pretty familiar with these phrases already. What we really need to do is practice projection, because the louder we are in our chanting the more attention we will get.


The key here is preparation. We can do this. If we don't have enough people, I guess we could pay someone a finder's fee to round up more. Some of these may be homeless people, so don't forget to bring some Lysol and hand sanitizer. I don't think air fresheners would work, as we will ideally be out in the open, outside, all the time, and that stuffs supposed to really be bad for the environment. We certainly don't want protesters protesting us!! That's just too much drama, and could lead to all sorts of complicated situations.


So, I think we should get started. I'll talk with my people, who will get in touch with your people, and we'll get this ball rolling. Remember, we can reach our goals with a well planned and coordinated agenda. Hell, some of might even get a bonus!!



*This is satire. If you don't realize this after getting this far, your density factor is off the charts!
**South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone

22 comments:

dawn said...

Deb - I love you this is fantastic.You have the best warpped sense of humor out of anyone I know. I was going to suggest bringing Shrimp cocktail to the sit in to make it classy. Oh the marjong thing -I have so wanted to learn marjong for the last 10 years people here do not play. When I was growing up the sound of marjong tiles clicking is a great memory. My grandma played 1 weeknight and of course on weekends. Thanks for bringing that memory up

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Can we do this in my back garden? I could let everyone use my loo (so long as they scrub it, afterwards)..

Okay, I admit it, I'll do anything for a cleaner, but despite the hidden adgenda, I do think this is a really neat idea. It might even scare Nora off. What's that? We're meant to be scaring BUSH off? Damn, he's worse than MRSA to chase away, and far more deadly.. but I guess you're right, someone's got to do it. OK. I'm in.

singleton said...

I'm in. Third times a charm. My first sit-in was for a highschool smoking lounge, we made TV and my Mother stroked out. My second was in front of a bank for three days, we were learn-ed! by then. Brought lawn chairs, TP and a cooler! Oh this will be a blast, I'm packin' now!

Anne said...

Someone mention snacks and weird songs? Coool. Can I wear a funny political t-shirt? :)

psycho-therapist said...

deb, i'm in. funny you mentioned mah-jong. i just read an article on it in the new yorker and wondered why in the hell no one in the south plays? damn it!

betmo said...

it had to be satire- because it was so on the money! :)

just me said...

dawn, though shrimp cocktail is an awsome idea, we must to stick to snacks. I should have been more specific. It should be things like tofu, nuts and berries, jerky, (preferably home-made) and brownies. What you put in them is up to you....

just me said...

carol, naughty girl, I don't think your loo is any where near Pennsylvania Avenue. But, we could do this thing.

just me said...

WEll...You can wear any t-shirt you want, as long as its tie dyed. I did it before, the tie-dye thing, but damn, if I have forgotten how. I must google it.

just me said...

psycho-therapist, With your backgroud you would definately be an asset, probably starting around day 2. Well, most people in the south favor rattle snake-catching as a favorite past-time, but I've always been the odd one.

just me said...

Betmo, you must come with us. You would make an outstanding spokesman, and make some speeches and what-not. But, you must learn to play the guitar, if you don't already. Practice "Blowing in the wind", and no, this has nothing to do with cocaine.

just me said...

My dad had MRSA, which means I probably do to. Joy, joy. Doctors don't usually discover it until after the fact. Ok, fess up, how do you know about MRSA? Most people think its something to do with NASA...

Mary said...

I know how to play that Marlo Thomas song "Free to Be You and Me"!

just me said...

Dawn, the tie-dyed comment was for you. And yes, I have been called warped before many times, as well as sarcastic, weird, eccentric, and other things that cast doubt on my mother's character, and our relationship...

just me said...

Mary, excellent thought, and one Bush could probably understand. He might even try to sing along...

just me said...

Anne, actually the tie-dye thing was for you. See how excited I'm getting over this project. I'm all in a dither. Maybe we could meet in Fredricksburg, and walk the rest of the way, something like the 10-woman march!!!

just me said...

Speaking of running shoes, I like the Women's ASICS GEL-Yeti WR, starting at 114.00. We must protect our tootsies....

dawn said...

Where is Fredricksburg? One day I think we all should do this and even though the tie dye wasn't for me I'm going to wear mine with the rolling stones logo on it anyway

phaseoutgirl said...

Deb,

My whole family except me knows how to play mahjong, just don't have the knack for it! I second Carol, back garderm sipping margaritas, sun on our faces...

But the words "sit-in" brought memories of college, when I thought I was an activist, well I guess I was! And those were fun times!!

love,
Cecilia

Gardener Greg said...

Count me in for the sit in. Let me see if I still have my bell bottoms and peace sign though. Thanks for visiting my site too.

Greg

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Okay, I give up - what happened to the "comments" button on your latest post? You don't get rid of me that easily, I'll just write what I want to say in here, so there!!

I trip over my ego every time I take a glass of wine. It is occassionally mortifying to be so invincible, especially later on. I have a couple of dear friends with bi-polar disorder. The crashes are hell, but oh, those highs! I'm thinking of one friend in particular.. she is AMAZING, everything that is good about her (and there's a lot) is magnified and intense. It's a horrible thing to live with, but it is also such an integral part of what makes her so very special.. she just takes my breath away.

A bit like you, my friend. x

just me said...

Greg, I had about a dozen pairs of bell-bottoms. And now they have returned, in a somewhat milder version, as the "flared-leg" or boot cut jean. I think for a while all I wore was bell-bottoms and halter tops. You are more than welcome to join our sit-in. You can be in charge of peace signs, maybe with some glitter?