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Mar 7, 2007

I am sick and tired. That's it. I'm sick and I'm tired. I don't know what this shit is but it is like no flu I have ever had. Go to the doctor, get antibiotics, a breathing treatment, since my oxygen was low. (I know, I heard them talking)

That was like a year ago it seems, and I feel so fucking bad. And like some people, who I won't mention, who have wives who plump their pillows, and fix them chicken soup, and make sure the humidifier is set at the right level, for maximum comfort, I have to wallow around in my god-awful nest I call my bed, alone, unwanted, looking like a douche bag. Every so often, I'm brushing a few crumbs out of the way, bursting into tears because the remote has fallen off the bed, and I have to reach all the way down there and get myself. Myself!! Fucking remote. Asshole, son-of-a-bitch, mean as hell remote. Sometimes it gets sneaky and works its way under the covers, and you have to flop the sheets and comforter up in the air, not once, but many times, look for the little bastard.

I think the cats thought I was going to croak, because they gave me a wide berth, only waking me up to feed them. I open their damn cat food every day. Seems the ungrateful little fuckers could do the same for me.

I know I'm whining. Its my blog, and I'll whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whine if I want to, you would whine to, if you felt like I do.....God, that sounds like a song! Maybe the lack of oxygen has forced parts of my brain that I didn't know was there to start working. I could emerge from this as a song-writer. Ya think?

What I should really do is get in my car and drive around to all the people who have shit on me the last couple of years, and breath on their door knobs, but that would look odd. Even for me.

I am usually one of those 'nice' sick people, you know, the kind that never make demands, that don't complain, that lie through their teeth, "No, I feel better, really, I've always been prone to projectile vomiting. Runs in the family I guess." Well, not this time. I'm going to complain loudly, thoroughly, and a lot. God dammit. So there.

9 comments:

Mary said...

The breathing on the doorknobs idea made me laugh out loud. That is a righteous idea girl! Thanks for the laugh. Feel better.

BRUNO said...

Yeah, I liked the "doorknob" thing myself! And it's amazing how many "friends" DON'T show 'till after you've gotten better, and THEN ask, "So, how have you been"? Just as well, enjoy the privacy!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

And like some people, who I won't mention, who have wives who plump their pillows, and fix them chicken soup, and make sure the humidifier is set at the right level, for maximum comfort....
Just to set the record straight, we do NOT own a humidifier. It broke the second day I was sick, and I fixed it with a hammer!!
:)
But otherwise, you write a Bitch even I'm envious of!:)

And I hope you get well soon! That crap is no party, by far!!

Anne said...

Awww... poor you. I hope you feel better soon.

just me said...

Future, after you "fixed" your humidifier, there is no doubt in my mind that your wife went out and bought a brand new one for you, a new one with all the bells and whistles. We're feeling mighty guilty aren't we??? And, this we do agree. When it comes to a bitch, its hard to top me.;)

Bruno, that is one thing I do have, is privacy.

Mary, Bruno, you know mailboxes would work just as well as doorknobs.

Anne, I thank you for your wanting me to get better. I don't think I will, though. I may be wrong. It happened once before.

betmo said...

ahhh--- get well soon! i feel bad. look at it this way- at least your cats aren't freakin' laying all over you. if i am sick and beached on the couch- they lay on me and i can't move. nothing useful- just moral support i guess. lots of chicken soup and tea perhaps will alleviate some of the worst symptoms.

betmo said...

oh- and i am my own wife. don't think my hubby ever takes care of me! i not only have to get my own soup and tea- i have to make it. and fluff my own pillows. sigh.

Fuzzylogic said...

Aww..I hope you feel better soon.No fluffing of pillows or fetching chicken soups here too,I fall sick I'm still expected to fluff my own pillows!Breathing on door knobs,LOL!Take care just me.

C-dell said...

funny the whole doorknob thing. I hope that you get better soon