Jan 26, 2007

I've gotten so many emails and calls to sell insurance, I'm starting to think I probably should, but that's not me. Oh, I could sell it, but I would have to tell the prospective buyer about all the hidden costs, and how they might save more money by going with another insurance company. Not much profit there!

So, just wanting a part-time thing, I went to a chain of convenience stores that I worked for before. Why, you may ask. Because I had fun working there. You have your regular customers that show up like clockwork. You have your weird customers that only come out at night. For example:

When I worked at 7-11 in mid-nineties, every so often a tall thin pale man would come into the store wearing a tux. I am not making this up. He was the thinnest, palest man I have ever seen, other than a few I worked with in the hospital who had passed on. I always said, "Look, here comes Count Dracula! Wonder who he's going to feed on tonight." He usually ended up getting a bottle of cheap wine, or, after midnight, a soda. I always wanted to ask him where his cape was.

Then there were the two young men, mean little rascals they were, in their late teens, who came in one night, looking nervously outside at their car. In the back seat were two giggling young ladies. They looked at me, and said, "Give us a box of those condominiums." I said, "I'm sorry, but we don't sell real estate here." "Oh, come on, you know what we mean, jimmy's, rubbers!" I said, "Which brand would you like?" They said, "The cheapest ones you got!" I produced the product, setting it on the counter, and watched while they pulled change from their pockets and finally came up with the correct amount. I rang it up, put it in a bag, and said, "Here you go." Unbelievably, they pulled the box out of the bag, opened it, and split them up between each other, all with me looking on. "Thank God they got the six pack, I thought."

"Good luck, guys.." I said, and they gave me one last evil look and headed for the car. Did they get lucky? That most likely depended on how much liquor they had.

Then there was the dirt covered, shirtless construction workers, getting off work, coming in and heading for the cooler to get their 40-oz bottles of Old English, which, if you don't know what that is, well its the only beer that tastes like gasoline. Unfortunately, when they bent over to look for their beloved beer, three butt-cracks peeked out from the top of their jeans. "Oh, so sexy!" I would say to my giggling co-worker. "Which one do you want?"

My absolute favorite was the raccoon hunters who would come in about 2:am for coffee, complete with hard-hats with the spotlights attached. I just couldn't help myself. I always said, "So, how are things on Moon Base Alpha?"

Will it be the same? Most likely, because it is the idiosycrancies of the public at large that makes life so enjoyable. To me, anyway.

picture courtesy of MGM, directed by Kevin Smith, watch the movie!!


Fuzzylogic said...

This was such a cute post!I always felt how the convenience store people manage to keep their smiles on the whole time,now we know:)Esp the dracula one was funny!I love your sense of humor just me.Awesome:)

Bruno said...

Anything is better than just sittin' around, collectin' dust. I say, go for the part-time! And if ya' "fall outta the saddle", then, just tighten the cinch-strap, and get back up there, and do it again!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

Great story and post once again!:) If anyone ever wants to see a true slice of America, they absolutely MUST work at a convenience store!

Some pundit once said: "If politicians want to put their finger on the pulse of America, they better first wrap their fingers around a Big Gulp."

Anne said...

I'm a night-owl. I don't think I'm any stranger than anyone else, but maybe convenience store clerks think different. LOL. Great story and nice blog. Thanks for stopping by my place.

itchingtowrite said...

good one... came thru here from orchid's blog..