I believe this week is the hardest to get through of any in the year. In 2005, Travis was wounded in Hit, Iraq, by and IED device, and died of those wounds on the 21st. During this week, every year, I mourn the fact that no one from his family was there with him. I mourn the fact he died on foreign soil without his family around him. I am saddened that he never saw his youngest daughter, Emma, who, from what I gather by pictures I find here and there on the internet, is growing up to be a beautiful young woman. Of course, Hunter is a handsome young man. Tristan, his young son in the Phillipines, looks so much like him it is unbelievable. I am so very sad that he did not get to know this beautiful young man.

This week brings into focus all that Travis wanted to be, all that he was, and all he will never get the chance to be on this earth. I comfort myself thinking he was surrounded by those who cared for him during his final time here, and I believe they were caring and compassionate.

I never even knew he was wounded. I had moved, so casualty officers did not know where I was. Those who did know did not share the information with me. Would there have been anything I could have done to save my son? The answer is most likely no, but the "what ifs" can be very cruel and persistent.

There are still young men and women being killed everyday in these places, and I do not understand why. Was not the reason we went to Afghanistan in the first place  to find Osama Bin Laden? And is he not dead? Did we ever find weapons of mass destruction? Did we not kill Saddam Hussein? Do our military personnel still need to be in these places? Perhaps we are there to instill the wish for freedom. However, ultimately, it is up to the people who live there to find there own way to freedom, if that is their wish. The Afghanistan people fought the Soviets and did all right for themselves. 


Let us bring our young people home. They are needed here, by their families, by the ones who love and miss them. 

May

Well, look at this! Here it is May already! The first day of May to be exact. I guess that makes this May day. If I had a May pole, I might actually dance around it with flowers in my hair. Things have been going good for us Youngbloods living here in Virginia. My son is doing well at his job, and soon to have a brand new baby with his beautiful girlfriend. (I am already planning the wedding in my head, but they haven't said anything about such a thing happening.)

 I am almost finished with my hateful school work, which is very difficult. You think your doctor is hard to understand during a typical office visit? Just try to transcribe one of his surgical reports. While they are chewing gum or burping! It is one of those hair pulling scenarios.

My son's girlfriend has a little almost 5 year old girl, I have just fallen in love with this child. She is very smart, creative, protective, and has a wonderful sense of humor. She will come and tell me something one of her imaginary friends have done, and puts that hand on her hip and says, "Seriously, he (Cecil or Tada??) is being bad, and he hit Lily (her babydoll rabbit). So, he is in time out." When she gets mad she lets you know and does not tolerate rudeness. My cat Sasha has finally figured out she's staying for the long haul so has learned to accept the fact. She hides a lot in the closet. I do too.

She loves to draw pictures of her feelings, which of course, she doesn't know she is doing. She will draw a picture of me and her, and we will be smiling and holding hands. She draws Sasha, too. When she gets mad, she draws pictures of me with big funky teeth, which makes me think that trip to the dentist is long overdue. I laugh my head off, which of course, infuriates her, and here comes another funky tooth picture. She has not exactly bonded with EJ. In private moments she refers to him as "asshole". I have no idea where she heard that word. I tell her (while trying to hide the fact that I am laughing) she shouldn't say that, but then I do laugh and she does too, and it becomes our little secret laugh. God knows I do not believe my son is an asshole (though we all have a little asshole in us, you know??), but hearing it from a 5-year-old mouth is just funny to me. Seriously.

Well, look at this. Yesterday it was January, and here it is today already, and the middle of June, or thereabouts, and I have moved again. This time to a little town on the Potomac river. It is actually a summer community, meaning the rich folks from the city who can actually afford a summer place, come here to ride around the one lane in gulf carts and show off their Potomac tans. We have now been assimilated into the locals, which means, I guess, the poorer people who live here all year long! Wow, and it feels like I just got here!

There is no stoplight in the town here, but there is a post-office and a bank. There are 3 convenience stores that are not further than 6 or 7 miles away. Talk about convenience, whoo! There is 1 school that my little adopted grand-daughter will be going to next year, in kindergarten, and I already anticipate having a few verbal altercations with unsuspecting and probably in the right teachers there. How they do this work of teaching today, in this society, with cellphones and texting, and all the other methods of inattention, I have no idea. They must be made of stronger stuff than I.

I am awaiting the birth of my (we think, almost are sure) grandson. EJ is going to be a proud papa, and he guards his woman well. He is doing great at the moment, and perhaps some of the ghosts and demons of the past are finally losing their grip on him. He will also be a grandfather soon. I know that sounds strange, but its how he sees it, and how we all see it. His step-daughter will be having a boy, before he has his son, I think. I know, it sounds like we are from West Virginia, or Arkansas or somewhere deep in the hills of no-man's land, but we are here in what is called Cole's Point VA.

I do have two other grandchildren by Travis's widow, and one by the love of his life, Lorena. Lorena allows me access to my grandson, Tristan. Travis' widow does not. I figure they will come to me someday demanding answers, and I will welcome them with open arms. I just hope I am still above ground when that happens.

Well, here I am ending with a shoutout to the Holtons in Texas, and Roberts in California. You know who you are!!

Psalms, from The holy Bible, King James version

This psalm, more than any other, has always filled me with hope, comfort, and love. When you think about it, what could be greater than someone watching you as you leave every morning and come home every night, making sure you are safe and provided for? Is there anything else we really need? Just felt like sharing.

1: I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. 
2: My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. 
3: He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. 
4: Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. 
5: The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. 
6: The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. 
7: The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. 
8: The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.