Jun 26, 2009

Micheal Jackson

We watched him grow up, we loved him, we praised him, we ridiculed him, we made fun of him, and now we mourn his loss. A truly magic man. God bless you Micheal Jackson.

Jun 22, 2009

My friend Roger is out of the ICU and in a private room now. He is getting better because he's getting more whiney. Even though he can't talk right now because of his tracheotomy, he can write, and he sure can point! He is not supposed to have anything by mouth, (NPO)but he continually points to you and asks you to get water for him. I won't and he hates me for it, but I would rather he hate me and come home sooner, than he love me, and get pneumonia again.

I haven't seen him in two days, but I'm going tomorrow for sure. I really miss him. A lot. I tell the staff I am his girlfriend so they think I'm like family. Of course, I probably have about 50 lbs. more...ah...muscle will call it, than Roger, so we look like those typical trailer park couples you see every where. Nothing against trailer parks, I live in one, and I like it, but I know you've seen them at the Walmart or somewhere. The great big wife, and the little bitty husband, and you start wondering how in the world know..

I have made some new friends, but its hard for me to trust people straight off, so I guess they are on probation. Like the lady I met. She keeps bringing me fat clothes knowing full well that I am trying my damnedest to lose all this extra weight. What's up with that? I just say thank you, cause I am polite. But it makes me wonder. I guess I should just be grateful she thinks enough of me to bring me anything.

Oh, well, time will tell I guess. Actually, since I've starting my bike riding I've met a lot of people. I'm one of those people that can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. That doesn't mean I say much about me, I mostly just listen. I'll tell you this much, there are a lot of lonely people in this world. A lot.

Jun 21, 2009

This time of year always makes me think of my Father and Mother. Daddy always had a huge garden, growing rows and rows of corn, tomatoes , and pole beans. We had onions, potatoes, sweet pototoes, cucumbers, and green bell peppers. After living all winter on canned goods, the fresh vegetables were a welcome and wonderful treat for us. We couldn't wait for the corn and tomatoes to "come in"...

Sometimes my Mother would fix pinto beans, cornbread, fried potatoes, sliced fresh red ripe tomatoes, green onions, and hot corn on the cob with loads of butter. We always sliced cucumbers and placed them in vinegar, salt and pepper, and it made a very tangy addition to our meal. I think I lived on corn and tomatoes during those wonderful summers. And as the watermelons and muskmellons (cantaloupes) ripened we had those as well.

I miss so much wandering through the rows of corn, looking for the ears with dark silk at the top and feeling them to see how full they were. I would pretend I was in a jungle, and sometimes I would pull an ear of corn and eat it raw. The creamy sweetness would burst in your mouth, and it was delicious. I always felt guilty for eating it raw and never told anyone. Outside playing, we would just run to the garden and pick a big juicy tomato, rub it on our shirts to clean it off, and chow down.

We had big blackberry bushes, and though my mother warned us about copperheads, we would run barefoot all around them, watching for briars, and eat our fill. I really miss those blackberries. Every so often Mother would make a blackberry cobbler, and, God, was that good.

Our neighbor, Tennis Lee, who has long since passed on, lived down the hill from us. He had an unusual suspicion that people were stealing his corn. It was nothing for him to shoot out into his cornfield at night with a high-powered rifle. Everyone knew that walking past his house at night during the summer was pretty much putting your life on the line.

One time he offered to shoot up the hill toward our cornfield to keep people away, but Mother wisely told him she didn't think that was necessary. We had enough going on at home without having to start dodging bullets every night!

I miss West Virginia this time of year, and I miss the carefree summers, full of sunshine, country suppers full of fresh fruits and vegetables. I miss my Mother and Father. But, at least I have this memory. I learned a lot about growing things from my Father. I learned a lot about dedication, hard work, and patience. Happy Father's day, Daddy.

And, of course, Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there, working their butts off to take care of their kids and provide for their families. God bless you all. Hope your "maters and corn" is gettin' ripe.

Jun 18, 2009

"Your horoscope for June 18, 2009

Today you could be feeling especially adventurous, Debra, and you might be tempted to take part in risky pastimes such as deep-sea diving, river rafting or hiking in the wilderness. This is not a good day to do this! If you want, plan such a trip for the near future, but today it might be best to sublimate your adventurous nature by reading thrillers, watching James Bond movies, or by exploring places close to home where you've never been before."*

Damn! Why did I read this?? If I hadn't read this I would probably be in an inner tube right now fighting the mighty rapids of the James River.....well, some other river. Or I could be about to wrestle with a great white shark! Oh, well, I guess I better check my social calender again! Does this mean, I wonder, if I have to turn down that invite to dinner with the Obamas as well!? I am never reading my horoscope again. Well, not today anyway. It's just too tempting, isn't it?

I don't think I really believe everything my horroscope says. I mean its just an across the board reading, isn't it? But it is kind of hard to resist thinking that maybe there is a reason why my life seems so fucked up, and damn it all, if it ain't written in the stars! It wasn't anything I did, or didn't do, it was freaking Jupiter and Saturn that did it... We can all take some measure of comfort in that I guess. "Yeah, see, it wasn't because you was drinking that the cop stopped you...Looky here, see how Nepturne and Saturn are all screwed around up there?" "Nepturne! Damn, you're good at this! I didn't know there was a Nepturne!"

I actually took a test the other day to see if I had psychic abilities. Turns out I'm about as psychic as a bag of rocks. I do have a little precognition, like when I come up to a green light and automatically stop. See, I know that its about to turn red. Unfortunately, not all the other drivers behind me have this ability, so sometimes they become frustrated and begin tooting there horns and yelling out their windows: "What the fuck, are you stupid? Move your ass! You stupid shit, what is your problem!!" But, I just smile, because I know I have this ability.

It said I have a sixth sense about some people. I know that when someone doesn't bath or use deodorant for a few days, I don't want to be around them for any length of time. Or when they are obviously foaming at the mouth and trying to stuff their shoe laces up their ass, its probably good that I take my leave. Its like I know that certain people I have met before are only stopping by to see me so they can borrow the phone, cigarrettes, a beer, money, or anything else I might have. Its that sixth sense working again. Oh, they usually say, "Hey girl, you are looking fine today! Have you lost weight? I've missed you so much, give me a hug....hey, since I'm here, could I borrow....." You can fill in the blanks.

You probably have a little of it too. I bet if you read my mind, just concentrate a little, you can probably figure out what I'm thinking....go ahead, give it shot!


Jun 13, 2009

Perhaps good news for some, but most probably didn’t know I was gone. Things have been hairy here lately. First, I lost my internet connection. That was no big deal, really, I’ve just became a whiz at BookWorm! I’ve spelled words I didn’t know were words.

Seems like a year has passed since I last posted here. I thought about just ending it, but then realized this little blog has helped me a lot. The positive and negative feedback I have gotten has also been supportive and made me think twice about some of the shit I have written.

The past few weeks I have spent going to the hospital to see my friend Roger. His lung collapsed and he went to the emergency room, then to Norfolk General Hospital. He was operated on by a surgical resident, who, ultimately left a hole about two inches in diameter in his left chest. He was home for about three days when he checked himself into Sentara CarePlex in Hampton. They immediately did surgery to clean out the massive infection that had developed, and now he lays in ICU, heavily sedated, with breathing and feeding tubes down his throat. He has had two dialysis treatments, but his kidneys are functioning a little. His status now is unchanged. He was already septic when got there. “Sepsis is a severe illness caused by overwhelming infection of the bloodstream by toxin-producing bacteria.”*

We have prayed for him, and keep our spirits up as best we can, but it is frightening to see him as he is. I go with his mother, who I am privileged to call friend, every day to see him.

His care at Norfolk General left much to be desired. When he was discharged from the hospital he had pneumonia, which means he should not have been discharged. Though Sentara CarePlex is part of the Norfolk General Hospital franchise, (I guess is the best word), the care there is wonderful. He now has a surgeon, lung, and kidney doctor, and a social worker on his care team. I’m hoping and praying for the best. For his last operation, he was given a 50/50 chance to survive. And he is still struggling. Without the sedation, he constantly pulls out his breathing tube, and is extremely agitated, as I probably would be myself. I miss my Roger, my friend, who has become more like a brother to me than a friend, though he seems to have an “incestuous ideation” about our relationship. Then, again, he may be trying to make an old lady feel good about herself.

God bless you Roger. God grant you recovery, health, and many more years to be the special person you are.

P.S. A special shout out to Linda Jean, Kellie, Jennifer, Bubba and Hank!! Love you all. And a big thank you to S. A. for the beautiful picture of his baby boy, Travis.