Jun 28, 2007

I got another email that is being apparently sent to all those whose names appear on the "dumb as fuck" mailing list. How I got on this list, I still haven't figured out. And, no, its not what your thinking, either. I can be naive, but usually its when some friend, neighbor, or family member comes along with a minor tale of woe and I just go into my "well, we'll just take care of that right now, you poor baby...". This has left me knocking on the poor house door on more than one occasion, so I'm starting to get a little wiser. Especially when the poor house people, say " You gave your money away?!? What, are you crazy! Go away...the insane asylum is down the road!"

But, this email, after I read it, I just laughed my ass off. Call me callous, call me jaded, call me what you will, but I just burst out laughing. I guess its because some of these body parts I never heard mentioned in anatomy class. And I stayed awake 60% of the time. I swear! It reads:

"My name is Mrs. Zaila Wrights undergoing medical treatment in Johannesburg South Africa. I am
married to Dr. George Wrights who worked with British Judicial Commission in England before his death
on the 5th July 2003.he made a vow to use his wealth for the less privileged.He deposited the sum of
10 Million Pounds with one Security Company in Europe.Presently, this money is still with the Company.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next 4 months due to a rare form of cancer of
the pabcreas but what disturbs me most is my stroke.

I have decided to donate this fund to a God
fearing person who will utilize it as my husband wished. direct your response to this email for more
information and for sake of confidentiality

Mrs. Zaila Wrights"

Ok, Mrs. Wrights has a pretty bad pabcreas. I can sympathize with that. Hell, they took out a huge chunk of my coilin because of that very same problem. But the thing that gets me is she is more worried about her stroke. Ok, now where do you think that would fall? The good news or the bad news?

*Doctor: "Mrs. Wrights, I got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Mrs. Wrights: "Whooaaayy oottiii arrrggghhh??"

Doctor: "Exactly, Mrs. Wrights, you had a stroke! Did the nurse tell you that? That little tattletale!"

Mrs. Wrights: "Baaattt neccchhhee?"

Doctor: "Bad news? Oh, that was the bad news. The good news is that your pabcreas is all fucked up and you only have four months to live. Think of all that money you're going to save on physical therapy, and in home care...a small fortune! Why you could give it to charity, hell, even pick someone from the "dumb as fuck" email list." I'll make sure my nurse drops off a copy for you. Well, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya...ha, ha, just kidding..."

*This will probably offend someone, but it is written in humor, which is one of the best healers of all. I have worked with stroke patients, and when their speech is affected it is very frustrating. But, I have also witnessed the few who could laugh at themselves, during their recovery, and they usually recovered faster. This is vain excuse at best to excuse my black humor. It probably failed.


Gardener Greg said...

I am not offended, I get lots of those emails but I didn't get that one. I wonder if anyone really falls for that stuff. I know an elderlly lady that fell for a phone scam and almost lost everything. It was a good thing she called her daughter to brag about her good fortune.

Queenie said...

Wonder how many fall for it? What that saying "you never get anything for nothing", so true..

Babzy said...

I am screaming with laughter. You made my day once again. Thank you Deb.

singleton said...

We get these hoaxes by fax too....
I'd be more afraid of chronic karma than my pabcreas if I were them!
You rock!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I haven't gotten one. Should I be upset?

BRUNO said...

"God fearing person"....

Maybe you SHOULD respond to her---tell her you're an atheist, and it just ain't-a-gonna work for YOU...!

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Oh, I have these flying in fast and furiously through my in-box. I'm sure at least one in every few thousand must hit the mark, or they wouldn't send them - probably some aged, frail and well-meaning person falls for it every once in a while. Sick, isn't it?