Is it Real?

Ok, I'll confess....I have become a reality TV show addict.  It all started innocently enough.  I was flipping through the channels one night, and happened upon Top Chef.  As there was nothing else on, I thought why not?  I became almost immediately hooked!  It just took a little taste, and I wanted more...So every Wednesday, there I was, propped up, watching Bravo for about 6 hours straight, seeing who was coming out on top, and who would have to "pack their knives and go home."  And who doesn't think Tom Colicchio isn't one of the sexiest men alive?  And that Padma is one of the most beautiful women in the world?  To me this is the best reality and cooking show out there.  The cream of the crop, so to speak.

  

And, of course, Fabio Vivani is going to take season 5?  Ok, am I right?  That's what I thought.



I love this guy.  I don't care if he is the best chef, he has everything else your heart could desire....ahhhhh.....

Anywho, after watching Top Chef, I decided to check out something called The Bad Girls Club.  Where do they find these girls???  People really act like that?  God, I'm getting old.



Then because I love Sharon Osborne I got hooked on Rock of Love Charm School, and, again, I think, where do they find these girls?? (From Bret Micheals and Flavor Flav? I guess...their reality shows I do not watch....)
 

Now, every Sunday you see my ass perched in front of the TV watching Tyra Banks and America's Next Top Model.
 

So, I'm thinking, I must need more drama in my life, or I prefer my drama vicariously!  But the more of this you watch, the more you want to watch.  Now, I find myself wondering what weirdness Steve Adler is going to get up to in Sober House, and why does Dr. Drew let him get away with all this crap??  I mean, if he showed up at my sober house high as a kite with needles in his pockets, "Oh, I haven't worn those pants in 10 years..." give me a break!!  I would have made him go through rehab again. He's not ready to be sober yet.  I don't think so, anyway.  He has to want this from his gut!  And good old Dr. Drew, blaming everything on good ole "Mama".  I thought we had gotten past that little bit of psycho-babble?  And please, don't get me started on Jeff Conaway!!  Just saying....



There! My secret vice is out. I have become a reality show junky.  Too bad I'm not a celebrity. But, yet, I feel so freaking free!!*







*I have been watching PBS Masterpiece Classics, too, so I'm not completely without discernment and good taste....And I love Black Adder!! 

He said what???

“Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.” Rush Limbaugh

When I heard this, I couldn't believe someone was actually fool enough to say it! Now I wonder what movement gave fat, unattractive, and incredibly white men "easier access to the mainstream"! But here's the fool right here:


No, wait a minute! That's the wrong picture, I think. Let me see, ah, here it is!



"We're not sexists, we're chauvinists -- we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want."

Nope, that's not what women want! That's what pigs want.

"The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them."

Now why didn't we think of that before!

What really scares me is that some people actually agree with this nut job. Really. I mean for real. There are actually people in our country who think this man's shit does not stink. I for one think it probably reeks! He is like a mini Archie Bunker. Without the jokes. Without the rare moments of insight that says "ok, yeah, I might be wrong".

The price we pay for freedom of speech!

I do not like this hammy man
I do not like him, no sir, no ma'am
Creepy mean, he's such a sham
We do not like this hammy man!!

Astrology and Biblical musings...

My horoscope:

*Sun Sign: Aquarius

Your horoscope for February 3, 2009

“A social event that involves discussion of intellectual topics that interest you could take place today, Debra, and you could decide to attend in the company of a love partner. You're likely to enjoy the gathering so much that you could stay late into the night, and then spend another hour or so discussing it with your partner. Afterwards - well, anything could happen! In the future you'll remember tonight as being magical. Make the most of it!”

The chances of this happening are approximately nil! It would be nice, and just the type of stuff I enjoy. You can see how intellectual I am by the word “stuff”! I was invited to a big super-bowl party, but as Bob was going to be there, I declined. Bob has been giving me vibes that seem to indicate he might be substituting me for his “Eve”. Don’t want to go there.

Speaking of Eve, I happened to watch “The Bible”, an old movie featuring a bunch of actors, like George C. Scott, Ava Gardener, a very young Richard Harris, and, oh, hell, just a bunch of them. Of course it starts with the Garden of Eden, and how Eve was tempted by the serpent to eat of the Tree of Knowledge (of good and evil). Of course she says, What the hell, and takes a big bite. Then she offers it to Adam, who like all men who come after him, did what their old lady said to do, probably to avoid a fight.

“No, Eve, I don’t think we should eat this, God said not to, and I’m not going to piss him off..” so sayeth Adam.

“Go on then, you punk-ass bitch. Don’t eat it. You think I give a rat’s ass? Look at you, naked as a jaybird, you got no job, what is up with that!” so sayeth Eve.

Which of course prompts Adam to eat, and the rest is history or myth, depending on who you listen to. But then it hit me…all Adam had to do was say No. Just say no. Nobody twisted his arm. Eve made a suggestion and it was his decision whether to follow it. Women have taken the rap for this bit of skulduggery for ages, and I do mean ages. And it was really Adam’s fault for not manning up to the challenge, so to speaketh. You may disagree, but I think it’s about time that Adam took responsibility for his own actions.

Now after Adam and Eve gets kicked out of the Garden of Eden, there is the story of Noah. I keep thinking how in the world did they round up all those animals, and did it include insects? They should have left the mosquitoes, spiders, and roaches off of the ark. And think about cleaning up after the elephants! Noah had some balls, is all I got to say… Just my opinion. But history does record a massive flood. Big flood

*February 3, 2009

Tarot reading for Me:

Love

Touchstone

Career

Love: The High Priestess

Touchstone: The Emperor

Career: The Lovers

“There's an element of contradiction in your love life today, Debra! The influence of the Emperor and the High Priestess is making you more critical, and this is putting distance between you and other people. You just can't stop yourself from challenging everyone's ideas and habits. It's making you cranky and dictatorial, so if you're not careful you'll be getting on your partner's nerves - or those of a potential new lover! A word of advice: stay away from heated discussions. Professionally speaking, you’re not feeling too confident of yourself today, as the Lovers plant a seed of doubt into everything you undertake. Thankfully the Emperor, who sets the general ambiance, radiates an air of stability and reassurance. You therefore don’t need to worry, because with his benevolent influence, you can build your day on very solid foundations. Just forget about your anxieties and get on with things!”

God, I’m so confused!! Tarot or Astrology? What does it all mean?? Maybe it means I should send that Nigerian guy my bank account information so he can help his poor Grandma fulfill her wish to give her multi-million dollar estate to a worthy person?? Like me…

Ok!

*Free Tarot Readings | Free Love Tarot Reading | Tarot by Astrocenter.com

"When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?"*

How about 54? Yep, I turned 54 today, one year away from double-nickels. Part of me keeps saying dear God, How can I be this old?!? Another part says, "Well, its a down-hill slide from here..." And, another part prays that I see another year.























Much earlier in my life I witnessed JFK's inauguration. Up until that time, I thought all presidents were supposed to be old and semi-ugly. And on January 20, 2009, I witnessed Barak Obama's victorious inauguration ceremony, via TV. I would have loved to have been there, but alas, I was not. But things went smoothly despite my absence. I say let's get behind this man and support him 100%! I feel a dark cloud has been lifted from the country. Or a dark force, perhaps?

















Bob update: Bob got a tattoo that says "King of Special Forces". He has also issued a challenge to Osama Bin Laden to meet him and fight him man to man, but the "stupid M********ck*r is too chicken...". If he does show up, trust me, I will let you know.

I have this tremendous need to volunteer somewhere. I don't know in what capacity, but I just have the feeling I should be doing something for others. Old people like me pretty well, and I have great respect for the aged in our community, hell, I am the aged in our community! HA! I'll figure something out.

Senility Prayer

God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.

"Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked."

*When I'm Sixty-Four Lyrics
Artist(Band):The Beatles

I'm back

No, I haven't been writing much lately. Trying not to keep the phone tied up. Ok, that's a sorry excuse, but it's the best I can come up with now.

I want to send a great big shout out to my sister, Linda, in California, and all of her children and grandchildren. I love you Linda. The memories I have of you are precious. Growing up, you brought much needed laughter into my young life, and I will always be grateful for that. I hope you feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, things have been quite lively in the old neighborhood since the new year dawned. A friend I have, Missy, began working with a man, oh, let's call him Bob, doing home repairs. While Bob told her he was always on call for the special forces, could speak 39 languages, and was good friends with Doc Holiday, she continued to work with him, and also let her two sons go hunting with him. Bob decided that he was Adam to her Eve. His words, not mine. I imagine during some conversation she had with Bob she mentioned being upset with her boyfriend and would just love to see someone kick his ass. Well, that is exactly what dear Bob tried to do for her late one night. I remember Chris, her real boyfriend came tearing in my house one evening about 11:30 at night wanting to use the phone. I just took it for granted that he was shirtless and didn't have any shoes on.

"Miss EJ," he asked, "can I use the phone?" "Sure," I said. "Did yours get cut off too?" (My neighbor Roger's phone got turned off.)

"No, that crazy M*******ck*r tried to choke me!" he exclaimed, and proceeded to call the PoPo, as we affectionately refer to them around here. "Then, I picked him up and threw him on the coffee table. That coffee table is totaled!" he went on. "I said let's take it outside, man, and, as soon as we got outside he grabbed a shovel, and said 'I'm going to kill you', and I ran..." I thought that was probably best.

At this point I am wondering if Bob is going to burst through my door with a shovel, and I start looking around for something besides a cat to defend myself with, but, thankfully he stayed away. While Chris waited for the police, EJ called from work and got to hear the story first-hand. The next day, Bob moved in with my neighbor across the street, the one without the phone, and is pining for his lost love. Evidently, after chasing Chris with the shovel, he went for a swim in the swamp, came back, jumped in his truck, and pretty well totaled that too. His family has given up on him, and I suppose he has no where else to go.
















Now, here's the rub: Bob is schizophrenic. And his medication isn't working. And he probably hasn't told his doctor. And he probably won't. I discovered all of this the hard way. He took me to the grocery store one day, and while we were driving, he spoke a few different languages and phoned his special forces contacts. He told me he could change his looks at will, and showed me one of his fake id's, that of a black man, who looked vaguely familiar. Bob is white. I found myself in a great hurry to get home, but kept my responses as neutral as possible. I started to wonder how in the world he got a driver's license. I started to wonder if he would let me drive.























EJ and Roger, the phoneless neighbor, were sitting on the sofa one afternoon, EJ waiting to go to work, and Roger killing time, when Bob came in and showed me some rocks. He told me they were diamonds and that he knew where the mine was. (If it were only true!!) EJ hid his face. Bob told me he had bought some new underwear and had checked in with the mental health clinic (and special forces) and he was good to go. While EJ and Roger hid their sorry faces, I tried my damnedest to be polite. But, God help me, I wanted to laugh. And its really not funny.

I am trying to stay aloof, but I can see me trying to help Bob, maybe even going to the doctor with him. But can I help him? And what is it like being Bob? He is always polite to me, and I have taken a motherly approach to my relationship with him. The cats? Roscoe runs and hides whenever Bob comes around, but Sasha loves him to death. I have found cats, at times, to be a good judge of mood. I do not like being choked.























While Missy says she is terrified of Bob, she has approached him since, trying to get him to admit to his wrongdoing. She doesn't seem to get the fact that Bob is wired a little different from the rest of us, well, most of us. All right, some of us.

She told me, "Miss EJ, I just attract crazy people. I don't know why.."

The funny thing is I do too. I don't know why either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a different note, someone called my landlord, here at the park, and told them I had committed suicide. Roger said Mrs. M, the landlord, had called his mother, and he got on the phone, and Mrs. M wanted to know how my son was taking my suicide. Since I had just taken Roger to the store, he was a little confused. He said he didn't know whether to put down the phone and run down the street or what. He said Mrs. M got a call from a reliable source. When I called her, which I hate to do, and asked her about my apparent demise, she said her source was anonymous. I know this much, something is rotten in Smithfield and it ain't ham!

Just for the hell of it, I stayed up until after midnight and watched myself very closely.

Blessings!