News on the Homefront

James Clifton was born on September 28, and is the newest member of our household. It has been many, many moons since I have been around a new born, but some things you don't forget. He is the cutest little thing I have seen for a long time.

I watched him for about an hour yesterday afternoon while his mom and dad went shopping (read: escaped!). He cried for perhaps 45 minutes, and my cat Roscoe kept meowing at me, as if to say "Do something, knot-head! Somethings not right!" He finally gave up and hid somewhere. I did all the normal things, burping, checking for doo-doo, making goofy faces, rocking him, walking around with him, offering a bottle, but he wasn't having any of it. I decided he must have had colic, I guess. Hell, I didn't know, but he was sure trying to tell me something. As soon as his Dad came in and spoke to him, he magically stopped crying. "Keep talking!" I told him.























I know my own boys must have went through similar things, but I guess it felt different then. But there is something about a baby crying that really gets you hopping. Its a visceral thing, in that you must take action. You feel that something is wrong and you have to fix it. What was nice this time, is that I could hand him back to Mom and Dad when my efforts to fix the problem didn't work. That was a pleasant change.

And all of the stuff they have for babies now! I am absolutely amazed. Everything either vibrates or makes some sort of music! You don't put the baby on his stomach anymore, as we ignorant Neanderthals did...you place him on his back. This is supposed to help prevent SIDS. No one uses cloth diapers! They still make them, and they are so much more functional, no more folding, but not that many new parents use them. I remember washing two loads of diapers a day, and hanging them in the hot Florida sun to dry. Now the diapers are disposable, and have Velcro tabs....no more tape! Baby powder has become obsolete, and is no longer approved for infant butts. I think it has something to do with preventing allergies. Even the bottles are better. Of course, breast feeding is still encouraged, but for those who opt not to breast feed, you don't have to boil your bottles or nipples anymore! (I mean the nipples for the bottles. Even I didn't boil my own nipples, though I probably considered it!!)

There are swings, and car seats that convert to carriers, that convert to strollers! Some of them even make nature sounds! There are little hooded blankets, and swaddling has come back into fashion.

I sit and wonder how my two boys made it through infancy to toddlers without all of the new fangled gizmos and such. I remember the special occasions when I could use disposable diapers, (when we went on trips to visit family) and how magical it was. (But God help you if you accidentally pulled off the the tape that secured the diaper---then you used whatever you could find, duck tape, electrical tape, Scotch tape, whatever. You couldn't waste that diaper....those f**kers were expensive! Guess what? They still are...

Things sure have changed! And for the better. However, it is hard for me to put the baby down after feedinghim on his back. What if he spits up? So, I just sit and rock him. Now that is a good feeling.

I just have to get my oldest son married, so he can start producing babies. Some of the young girls he works with have a crush on him, but he says they are too young. I find myself thinking, well, shit, think of all the childbearing years they have ahead of them!...So they don't know jack....just think of all the babies!

Oh, well, I must be patient. I can still enjoy the delightful company of J.C. (James Clifton). And it is so delightful!!