I want to thank everyone for the kind prayers and good thoughts. Things are slowly improving. I tell myself to take one day at a time, but it is difficult to do. It seems we want things so badly, that we try to live in the future by thinking of what we want to happen so much, that it will magically be. Of course, its impossible to live in the future, and we really don't know what the future will bring. That leaves us with hope, and doing what we can today to accomplish our goals and dreams.
I feel at times that I am coming out of a fog, or a long illness. Perhaps this is the normal course of events, a part of the grieving process. Not that I am done with grieving, just that the intensity and focus of my grief is changing. I think often of the past, and how precious it actually was. But, we can not live in the past either. I think sometimes as I fall asleep that if only I could awaken in an earlier time, when my children were small. I tell myself I would cherish each and every second, and ignore my wants and needs. But would that really happen? I try to find comfort in telling myself I did the best I could do with what I had, yet knowing full well that perhaps that wasn't always the case.
We live our lives and try to do the best we can. Recriminations and regrets for past mistakes really don't change anything, as much as we would like it to. And, so, what are we left to do? Try to make amends in some small way? What if that option is gone as well? How do we accept that which we cannot change? I wish I had the answer, but, unfortunately I do not. How would you "accept that which we cannot change"?
I feel at times that I am coming out of a fog, or a long illness. Perhaps this is the normal course of events, a part of the grieving process. Not that I am done with grieving, just that the intensity and focus of my grief is changing. I think often of the past, and how precious it actually was. But, we can not live in the past either. I think sometimes as I fall asleep that if only I could awaken in an earlier time, when my children were small. I tell myself I would cherish each and every second, and ignore my wants and needs. But would that really happen? I try to find comfort in telling myself I did the best I could do with what I had, yet knowing full well that perhaps that wasn't always the case.
We live our lives and try to do the best we can. Recriminations and regrets for past mistakes really don't change anything, as much as we would like it to. And, so, what are we left to do? Try to make amends in some small way? What if that option is gone as well? How do we accept that which we cannot change? I wish I had the answer, but, unfortunately I do not. How would you "accept that which we cannot change"?
8 comments:
I am sure you always did the best you could. If you do find the answer enlighten me :)
If I ever find the answer, you will be the first person I tell.
That's probably one of the hardest questions in life, I don't have the answer but I know you did what ou thought right just like myself. I to wish I could go back to when they were little. Do I think I could change things, I don't know. If I had the knowledge I had now maybe.
I think we all do the best we can at the moment we do it. Late we may look back and say I should have done it this way instead. But if it was done with love , you did the right thing. It can't be changed.
Accept the things you cannot change? Nah. How about looking for the silver lining instead? Sometimes it's hard to find, but if you can find at least one good thing about a situation, at least then it's not a total loss. Just my opinion. Best of luck.
I like to think we are all on a learning path. I try to trust in that path wether it's mine or my childrens. Not always easy.
Very good question, Deb...I'm going to have to think about that one...
Dawn, it would be nice to go back with what we know now, wouldn't it?
Moose, you are so right...the bottom line is nothing can be changed, no matter how much we wish it could.
Anne, I understand what you are saying, but sometimes there just isn't a silver lining...
Mary, perhaps that is the best way to look at it...we are learning. But sometimes the lessons are very hard, indeed.
No, Take all the time you need. I know I will.....;)
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