What was unusual was what happened afterwards. The local fire chief drove down our street going over the fifteen mile per hour speed limit. He was in a hurry, I suppose, since he stopped and picked up a lovely young woman. What man wouldn't hurry? However, this time he was spotted by a neighbor, somewhat inebriated, but very offended by such a learned individual not obeying the rules of traffic.
As the fire chief pulled into his driveway, he was suddenly accosted by the offended neighbor. The neighbor had jumped on his bicycle immediately, to confront the wayward chief. The neighbor has no driver's license, which is probably good, as he was a little tipsy and all.
The conversation that followed made little sense to anyone listening, but basically involved the fire chief trying his best to escape, and the neighbor trying his best to keep him from doing so. One must appreciate the fact that the neighbor weighs 90 lbs. soaking wet, and stands about 5'5", while the fire chief weighs about 230, and stands close to 6'6". He must have felt he was being tormented by an angry hobbit. But, ultimately he confessed to his crime, and promised to never do it again.
One wonders if he was sincere, or just trying to shut up a drunken hobbit. Who knows? It sure was fun to watch. The hob....the neighbor later took issue with Santa, for reasons unknown. I did learn that Santa can and will engage in a bout of fisticuffs if necessary. But the words, "you think you can whip my ass, bring it on m***** f*****" does not inspire that warm fuzzy feeling we get when we usually think of ole Saint Nick.
Oh, hell, he was probably just having a bad day. Its the Christmas season after all. He's entitled.
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So there I was, stringing lights around my porch, and I forgot about the step that leads up to the front door. Walking along, stepping side ways, I guess I just disappeared to anyone watching. I fell all over the place, didn't get hurt, but the first thing I did was look up and see if anyone saw me. Now why is that?
My cat Roscoe has found a nice place to rest through the season. And it isn't even over yet.
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16 comments:
Santa arrived here (Drumroll) A week before T day....riding in a convertable plastered with "Shop at Walmart!" signs.
Give it back to the kids; anybody over 14 is forbidden to enter a store until December 23rd!
LOL HAHAHA I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself. HAAAAAA AHAHAHA
Yeah, hoooHoooheeeheee, *&%$#!!!!
It was funny, though, my son laughed his ass off...maybe I'll do it again someday.
a convertible sounds better than a fire truck....yeah, I'm about sick of the holidays...
Santa shoud never swear. What if little kids hear him.
As for the porch offering, I'm sorry but I am still laughing.
Moose, I guess you and Babzy would bust a gut if a broke my neck, huh? Maybe they would give me my own sitcom...
Told you to take more water with it!!!
Queenie, I was not inebriated, or even drunk. Besides my chasers are lime and salt. Me and Jose go back a long way....
Headed to your blog.
(I really don't drink anymore, but I used to could toss em back with the best.)
Even funnier that you were stone cold sober. At least you'd have an excuse if you had been plastered. LOL
Oh, hardee hardee har har.......
WE could call the sitcom: "I Love Deb". You would have to have red hair though.
Babzy and I are so mean.
Ron Paul! I just noticed it! Awesome!
Well, I don't do Christmas trees and such anymore, haven't for years. And I'm damn sure not going shopping for people that already have more than they need.
And as far as I can tell, my cats could care less if I'm into any of that. All I need to do to amuse them is to drop a paper sack on the floor for them to explore.
Yes, Moose, and you and Babzy could play my zany but lovable sidekicks, Ed and Bethel. HA Of course, Vincent would be Mickey....lololol...
Woozie, Ron Paul is the only one out there who makes even the slightest bit of sense. I like the guy and his ideas. Vote Ron Paul, ya hear?
bbc, all a cat needs for hours of entertainment is a paper bag or box. Cat heaven.
Just what we need. A brawling, swearing Santa. Oh, well, we've got a bawling, can't get a sentence correct President. Things equal out, I guess.
Loved "I just disappeared to anyone watching." Hahahahaha.
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