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I'm back after fighting with my modem for the past two days. It was a fearsome sight to behold. It had me down for the count one time, but I put it in a head lock, while wrestling it to the floor, and finally got the upperhand. I will be one happy camper when my broadband comes home to stay.

Bruno left something in my comments section about how I needed to get my life back before I became the neighborhood sucker. (That doesn't sound right, does it? But I know what he means.)  If I didn't have to wait an hour and a half for the page to load, I would call it back up, and quote it word for word, but its on the post second before this one. And, he speaks the truth. Now, I wish he would just move in here for about two or three weeks and help me. HA!  No, I don't need any help, as I am the devil.  (I probably should quit saying that, it gives me a weird feeling inside.) Like I've just had tea with George Bush and he was talking about the latest book he read, "Tip and Mitten".

 "See, Tip is this little dog, cute little rascal, and Mitten is a cat, also cute, don't get me wrong, but there's something about that cat, might be an insurgent, don't know, gonna talk to Daddy about it...get some feedback...got to  jump right on this thing!" 

Well, I found myself volunteering to babysit for two 10 year old boys. It started out as a get them on the bus to school type of situation, and I thought, yeah, I can handle that, but school doesn't start for three or four weeks. (Slap on the forehead! Ouch!!) The young lady is trying so hard to get custody of her children again, and I want to help, so badly, that I have also volunteered to be a witness at the proceedings.  I should be locked in my room with a month full of mystery books, and not allowed to leave.

I took her to work, and the plan was to have the boys come over here when they woke up, as her "friend" cannot stay there while she has her children with her. Her decision, no one elses. So, C comes here.  You remember C?  Got his car repo'ed? When I got home, C hadn't gone to work, and my favorite neighbor of all time, you guessed it, was already here talking to my son, and to use the phone. Now, if all I had to worry about was me, the conversation would have probably been short and sweet. Get the fuck out of my house, you, over there, on the phone. But, I also have my son, who for whatever reason values this woman, and as I want him in my life always, I will make certain accommodations for those he cares about.  And that's just how it will be. This is a decision I made two years ago, and I may gripe about it, but usually I relate these stories for their humorous appeal, rather than their gripe factor. If I wanted to gripe, gosh, there is so many more worthy things to choose from, the list is endless. I wouldn't know where to start.

All through my life I have met and enjoyed the company of some fairly odd and strange people. They are drawn to me, or vice-versa, and I have learned a great deal from them. Some of it was even beneficial. But never have we spent a day window shopping, or fixing each other's hair, or doing whatever it is that normal people do. As you can see, I am guessing here.

So, where was I? Ah,  the babysitting, which I had volunteered to do...Well, C said he would watch them, as he wasn't working, and he was going to take them fishing. I wrestled with the modem, and learned that C had let the boys go to the Butt girl's house to play with her demon child. Ok, ok, that is so mean, even I take offense.  He is not a demon child.  He just acts like one. No, he has issues.  Its just that sometimes I look at him and I think there goes a future Ted Bundy.  I somehow picture him with a box of little animal bones buried somewhere in the woods close by. When a lady stopped and asked if I had seen two little dogs that were missing, it was all I could do to keep from shrieking, "Oh, God, They're in the box!  Good God, in heaven, they're in the box!!"  I just said I would watch for them. (They're in the box.)

Well, of course demon child came back with the two boys, and spent the day with them, which made their mom quite angry as they were not supposed to go there, and C caught hell, but it should have been me, and why, I'm not sure. There, now that makes perfect sense I know.

Tension is in the air, though, not from me, but a show-down between two moms of 10 year olds, and when the forces collide in fury and thunderous energy, I hope I am at Food Lion or somewhere safe, deciding between a plain chocolate bar or one with almonds.

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